Dreamtime

The light is fading on another day.

As the longest night draws ever nearer, the sun ignores the mid afternoon clock and sinks beneath the horizon. Deep shades of orange light the sky and then become muted across the landscape.

The heat that warmed my body and soul disappears with the last of the vibrant light.

The darkness whispers and then begins to shout as it takes over. Still the clock says afternoon but all around screams night-time.

The light of the moon fills the sky, bringing an eerie sense of calm and tranquility. There’s a hush in the air, a pause. Time to reflect and wonder and rest.

The clock still says it’s time to be ‘doing’ but my soul listens to the night and says ‘sleep’. I yearn for the darkness, the chance to snuggle under blankets and slip into dream-time while awake. To explore, to dream, to connect to the wisdom within.

I dream of magic, of love, of feeling connected to the world. Of loved ones and how much they mean to me.

I bask in this vast space of awake-dream-time where time and space collide and cease. This is love, this is magic, this is home.

Let go!

My 6 year old was my biggest teacher recently. We were in the deep end of the swimming pool and he encouraged me to stop swimming. It was a struggle to let go. Yet when I did, I floated! How apt for life!

Sometimes, it’s so easy to be caught up in the must dos and how tos that it’s easy to forget to breathe and float for a moment. No matter what’s going on in life, those precious moments when you stop can be pivotal and vital.

So I invite you to stop just for a moment and breathe. Breathe out tension, release stress and breathe in vitality and peace. In this moment, everything is ok.

You may wish to try my Space meditation

A little bit about coaching..

Supporting sensitive women to unlock their power, reveal their radiance and create the joy-filled life they love

Are you fed up with striving for a better life? Do you long to know ‘the answers’ but can’t find them? Are you over-extended, exhausted and pushing yourself ‘to thrive’. Do you long for peace, serenity, joy, laughter and happiness?

What if your beautiful precious life is ‘enough’, what if you could listen to yourself, your desires, your longings and honour them?

Sometimes the scariest thing we can do is stop. Breathe. Start again.

We’ve all been there – feeling trapped in the life we have and unsure how to change it. But what if it’s simple? As simple as breathing?

I support women like you (and me) to connect deeply to themselves. To let go of the old structures of life that have been making us feel trapped. As sensitive women, we’re hyper sensitive to our lives and our loved ones and even strangers. We can ‘read’ the energy around us but it’s easy to become overwhelmed and unfocused and to lose ourselves in it.

Let me guide you gently to yourself so that you can find your ‘happy place’ and see and create the life you love, your way.

Experience and access the three Feminine Power centres that unlock all of your power to be yourself, fully. As you master these, you can be yourself, see and release the blocks in your life and create your deepest desires. You can connect to the energies of life and others and engage with them, listening and creating from your power.

It’s from this space, you can change your life, whether it’s simply by being yourself or changing the structures: perhaps you want to change job or create a whole new work structure, to support yourself and your family holistically, to be the joyful relaxed mum you know you can be, to call in your true love, friends and work collaborators, to engage with your health from your deepest knowing and body wisdom, to connect to your spirituality, to call in abundance, possibility and wonder. Create magic* in your life!

The Truth is that we are immensely powerful 

Let me guide you through Feminine Power Coaching to your power, creativity, radiance and joy. Or, you may want support as a relationship ends: Conscious Uncoupling Coaching can help you to navigate the changes in your life and discover yourself and create a new love story.

If this calls to you, please contact me on 07531 769970 or samrockcooper @gmail.com to arrange an initial free session to help you gain clarity on your desires and what’s stopping you and to check we are a fit for a coaching partnership.

Please read some of the testimonials I have received from clients.

*Dictionary definition of Magic: BRITISH informal
wonderful; exciting. “it was a great time, magic”
synonyms: fascinating, captivating, charming, glamorous, magical, enchanting, entrancing, spellbinding, magnetic, irresistible, hypnotic “a magic place”A little bi

Creating Space

This year my focus is on space – space to do the things I love, space to rest, to exercise, to cook, to play! I’ve set a powerful intention to have a lot of freedom in my life this year to do all the things I love.

My focus this month is clearing the house – we’ve been going since 28th Dec and the house feels so much better – there’s space in the cupboards, on the floor! This physical space is giving me clarity of mind to focus on 2019 and be curious about how I want the year to be. I joined a new women’s circle and found it a real blessing to have time and space with other women as we set our intentions for the year. I also run a women’s online development group every week and my sacred sisters mean so much to me. I’m blessed to be part of some amazing communities and friendships.

Obviously family and friends are pivotal to everything. My boys are everything to me. I’m so lucky that we have (deliberately created) lots of family time and adventures 💖

I’m really curious about my health – I’m so lucky to have an amazingly strong body which keeps going. This year I’m softening to that and being curious about the best exercise for me especially as menopause creeps closer! 

My other focus is ‘work’ – I’m part of a fantastic team raising Dementia awareness in Bristol – an illness that’s close to my heart as I’ve been touched by it several times through family and friends. I so appreciate the friendship, opportunities and ‘stretching’ this part-time position gives me. 

I’m so honoured that I get to ‘be me’ and call upon 25 years of energy healing and spiritual enquiry to be a transformative coach for sensitive women who are seeking to c next deeply to themselves, their power, radiance and joy. This year I want to expand as I see the difference this makes and I want to support more women to reclaim themselves and their lives. This is my calling and joy – I’m not only there for regular coaching sessions – I welcome regular check-ins and offer ongoing energetic support. I’m a very present stand for the women I support 💗

Sending love and blessings xxx

If you haven’t set intentions yet, I invite you to be curious about 2019 – what do you want and what do you yearn for? Are they the same things? Listen – to your head, heart and gut – are they in alignment? 

Play! I invite you to take a few moments to feel into 2019 and really feel how you’d like your year to be. Maybe think about your family, friends, fun activities, things you love to do, your work, relationships, health… what are your deepest desires….. 

And notice if there’s a gap? Breathe into it…. be curious about it – what do you need? Additional resources, time? Energy? Support (from?)….

Have fun and come back to this regularly to see if you’re still on course. 

Give Yourself Permission

My quiet reflection time is early morning before my son wakes. The other morning I started journaling and immediately started writing ‘I give myself permission…’ I wrote several statements straight away. They felt powerful and freeing. Phew I could let go of the old beliefs and step into the new, energised possibilities. 

And one lacked juice and that gave me the nudge to go deeper – to look at my perceptions and beliefs around that and unpick why I had a problem with it. I love how something so simple is both simple, powerful and insightful. 

This week, I invite you to play with this… gift yourself the time and space to journal with this… simply start writing ‘I give myself permission to …’ and see what comes up.

Love and Blessings

Sam xx 

Grounding and Alignment

In the past 12 hours I’ve had two powerful but very different sessions and both have been about grounding and being in alignment. One was a Feminine Power coaching session in person and another an online healing session. 

Grounding is often a buzz word but what does it really mean? I’ve shared before about grounding but today I’d like to talk about practical application – what I actually do.

Studies show how important it is to ‘ground’ – connect our skin to the earth – it reduces inflammation (by 60-70%*) and helps us to heal. So how do we do that? For me, I simply walk barefoot in our garden. It’s something I do regularly as we don’t wear shoes in the house so anytime I’m outside around the house, I’m barefoot.   Likewise, the other day I went to Stanton Drew stone circle which is nearby and stood barefoot in the centre of the stone circle. I love to walk on sand and paddle barefoot in the sea.

We also have a grounding sheet on our bed that’s connected to the house’s earthing system via a plug. I can feel when it’s on as my feet tingle.

My morning alignment practice is to connect in with my body before I get out of bed – I breathe deeply and do a ‘scan’ of my energy and imagine connecting to the earth. This is my way of ensuring my system is in alignment. Once it is, I set my intentions for the day and send Reiki. I might also give myself healing in this space. 

Water – I drink litres throughout the day. Vital for vitality!

Food – I’m curious about whether I’m using food to ground my energy. When I feel scattered and overwhelmed I reach for crisps as my comfort food. How interesting as they grow deep in the earth! When I’m eating organic natural foods I feel so much better – alive, vital and enthusiastic with spare energy. My morning practice for the past few weeks has been to have a quarter of a watermelon when I wake. It revitalises me immediately and sets me up for the day. 

I also wear barefoot shoes – while I can’t connect to the earth through their rubber soles, I am enabling my brain to receive the messages transmitted by my feet about the ground I’m walking on. This enables my body to constantly adjust to the surface and remain in alignment. 

This is just a short blog for now but this is something I’m really passionate about. I’m curious about our disconnect with the earth and our bodies and the daily impact that has on us. 

This week I invite you to touch the earth – soil, grass, sand, rock etc. Even if only for a few minutes. How does that feel? 

Be curious how my suggestion makes you feel… enthused, apprehensive, afraid? Isn’t that interesting! 

Be conscious of the foods you’re eating and how they make you feel.

Drink water!

Gift yourself quiet time to connect to your body and see how you feel.

Try it for a week and see how you feel ….I’d love to hear how you get on x

* Have a look at this 15 minute video for more information: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSNnIg2cVjc

To make space, we have to expand

In times of stress, overwhelm and exhaustion we tend to contract. We pull our energy inwards and ‘shut down’ as a way to conserve energy and keep ourselves safe. And that’s good and right in many circumstances. It allows us to recoup our energy, emotional reserves and let our passions etc begin to build again. There’s a lot to be claimed and understood in this still time.

However, what if there was another way? What if the contraction was actually making us small and .. well contracted in our life? On a physical and chemical level closing inward gives us less space – our organs are pushed together as we make ourselves physically small (think hunched over).

To make space we have to expand – claim that space – whether that’s by expanding our body – breathing deeply and expanding our abdomen which enables oxygen to flow everywhere internally with ease, and energetically – breathing out into the space around us – giving ourselves space. In this space we have room to breathe, focus, play and invite in possibilities and options.

Depending on the situation, this may seem a stretch so I invite you to keep an open mind and be curious. Play with expanding when you want to contract. It could be as simple as resisting the urge to curl up in  bed with food and drink and instead choosing to sit with the issue or trigger and breathe. Expand and be curious about what comes to you in the space.

If life feels too small then make it bigger! Breathe, expand, give yourself space – all the space you need.

This week I invite you to notice all the times you contract and expand. What are your triggers? Notice them with love and take a moment to stop and review and then decide what’s best for you.

My space meditation might help you get into expansion.

With love and Blessings

Sam

xx

Being Present with Love

I had a client recently whose health is challenging and there’s was a great sense of ‘it’s not fair’ and that’s so true.

And we can make up all these stories – it’s the way energy works – starts in the aura and works it’s way in if not cleared. As a healer, I’ve heard that a million times but is it true? Or is it a story we tell ourselves to make us feel better? It’s not personal.

Maybe it’s just how it is in this moment? Again soothing but not actually helpful.

So what’s the new story we can create? How can we make this have traction and energy?

My first instinct is to sit with it, be present, name it and love it. I didn’t say it was easy!

Recently my skin has been so painful – I’ve had a sunrash for most of my life and it’s bad this year – red, raw, itching. I feel miserable putting on sunscreen every day and covering up and still itching every night. The other night it was particularly bad and nothing soothed it, so I sat with it and lovingly stroked my arms saying ‘I love you’ and yes that sounds like the hippy healer I am. But within minutes all itching had stopped. And in that space of peace, I was able to see my next step – getting a homeopathic cream. Two days later the cream has arrived and my skin has healed amazingly in 24 hours. And I know I could take the traditional route of finding out why I have this and healing it with support. But for now, I need a quick solution so I can get on with my life. Because the fact is we actually don’t have the time in our crazy busy lives to come to a full stop or expanded space of enquiry very often. So let’s give ourselves precious moments to be present with ourselves to find the solutions we need.

Let’s change those old stories and create new ones. Let’s utilise the amazing resources we all have in our lives. But let’s also take time to love ourselves unconditionally- that’s when the true magic happens.

This week, today, I invite you to stop, even if it’s just 5 minutes and be present to yourself. Express (however feels right) love and care and gratitude to your body. Witness whatever is present in your life from this kind, compassionate space. And listen for possible actions. Most importantly, savour just being with yourself – be your own best friend, healer, coach etc.

We all need support

One of the Feminine Power teachings is ‘we can’t become ourselves by ourselves’ and that’s so true. Yes it can feel vulnerable to reach out for support but we really can’t do everything alone.

My old story/belief was I am Alone – I feel in control then but I also feel isolated and powerless. It’s a static point with no traction to move. Being supported has been a stretch for me – it takes me out of my comfort zone and I feel exposed and vulnerable or I feel that I have to reciprocate immediately (usually by making lots of cake!) But I know that that’s where the magic is – it’s where there’s energy and power. After 8 years in the Feminine Power community, I’m comfortable with seeking support and I so appreciate it.

For years I’ve struggled with naming ‘what I do’ in terms of coaching and healing. It can seem so airy-fairy when in reality it’s grounded and makes very definite changes quickly.  A few days ago, I had a wonderful session with a dear friend and Feminine Power Coach who helped me polish my new coaching bio. Now it feels more ‘me’ and I feel it expresses what happens in coaching sessions. And that’s the gift of creating a space together – energy and ideas flow and in a very short space of time big shifts can be accomplished.

This week I invite you to see where you’re receiving support and where you’re not. Be curious if you’re not reaching out to others – why is that? (asked lovingly) – is there a false belief? Do you feel you lack the skills to ask for support? What kind of support do you need?

Shifting to another place be curious about the support you offer to others. Really appreciate how you do that and the value that has for others.

It’s that simple!

I absolutely love coaching. It’s so wonderful to witness someone begin to connect deeply with themselves and see how their life ‘magically’ starts to easily transform and move towards their desires.

I had a client recently say ‘I pay you £.. to tell me to breathe!’ we were both laughing as she said it because of course there’s so much more but equally it is that simple. And that’s why I love it – I’m not ‘teaching’ women anything, I’m creating a safe space where they can begin to connect to themselves. They are their own coach in effect as they have the wisdom inside them. Of course, I’m calling upon 21 years as a healer, more as a spiritual enquirer and all my other trainings including eight years as a Feminine Power Coach and then as a Conscious Uncoupling Coach.

Empowering others is my aim. I don’t want women to rely on me – I teach them tools to connect to themselves and their power, energy and confidence. Then they can create the life they want, the way they want. And it occurs organically as they are in alignment with themselves. Here the real magic happens – opportunities appear, people connect with them, friendships and love relationships come or uplevel with ease. They have the courage to dream even bigger and make big shifts in their lives. And sometimes, it’s the other way around – to dream of a simpler life and begin to let go of the things that don’t resonate or bring happiness and instead concentrate on the joy and happiness that’s already present and increase it.

I’m delighted to offer free discovery coaching sessions for those wanting to experience coaching and explore how it can help you to become yourself, fully.

Giving and Receiving

Today I received such an amazing gift – a beautiful portrait of myself whilst coaching. This was from an amazing woman who inspires me and has supported me in the past. A couple of weeks ago she asked for support and I gladly offered a coaching session. This week, we met and today I received her beautiful testimonial and this amazing picture and words. I can’t describe how deeply this touches me and I will treasure the image and words forever. And in the chaos of life, it’s so precious to receive feedback and heart-centred communication.

I love that I’m part of a growing network of women offering support, sharing their gifts and simply being with others. This week I’ve also been supported deeply by my weekly Food Joy group. And sometimes it’s a challenge to receive that blessing but it’s so needed. Once we are ‘full’ with love and support we can pass that on to others. Together, we can become ourselves and change the world with kindness and love.

‘Here is an imperfect portrait of you and the energy I feel from you. The portrait doesn’t capture the exact shape and softness of your features, the sparkle in your eyes, or the strength in your shoulders. I see and feel your connection to the earth and the charmed web of life so clearly. I see your enormous capacity for love, in the honouring of people around you and extending all that love in a circle back to your self. You sit with your feelings, your curiosity, and your zest for creating a beautiful space. You are teaching others to do the same and holding them so they can inhabit their bodies, their world, their imagination, their power. I see you and I thank you.’
Alexis Blenkarn

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This week I invite you to be kind – to yourself, others and with your buying choices. Let’s change the world one act of generosity and kindness at a time.

Love and Blessings
Sam xx

Being Yourself

In my coaching introduction I speak a lot about being yourself fully, standing in your truth and power.
As I reflect on this week I can clearly see how I’ve done that and as I unpick it, I can see the different steps that allowed me to be myself and feel in my power.
We’ve had a challenging week and ended up in a situation with ‘experts’ where in past experiences, I’ve given away my power and accepted others’ truth over my own. This time was so different.

Knowledge
Firstly, this was around something I’ve researched for years and I felt comfortable with my decision. And I felt other than stating my decision, I did not need to engage in conversation around it. This was completely respected by the experts I talked to and not pushed.

Boundaries
Which brings me to boundaries – I was clear where mine were – in my mind and body. I felt in complete alignment with myself.

Energetic preparation
Before going into the situation, I sat with it, got clear on what I wanted to happen (best possible outcome) and sent Reiki to it all.

Flow
From there everything flowed – from getting immediate appointments, being seen on time and arriving at a car park just as someone was leaving and being given their ticket for the exact amount of time needed (with 3 minutes to spare!)

Being Clear
No is a complete sentence! I used this several times with a clear voice, energy and intention. In the past I might have wavered or tried to justify my no – not this time!

Engaging with others
I was clear on my position but also open to listening and asked engaging questions that started with ‘I’m curious…’ which allowed energy to flow and showed that I wasn’t fixed. I was respectful at all times while maintaining my boundaries.

Reflections
I received great reflections from others that I had obviously done my research.

Gratitude
This situation could have been so different and I’m so incredibly grateful for all the training and support I’ve received over the years that have led me to this strong and powerful knowing and to be flexible enough to listen and receive too.
Plus I reached out to friends and family to check in.

This week I invite you to reflect on who you are and what’s your truth?
Where is your power and are there areas where you give away your power?
Be curious!

Creating Space for Yourself

I’m tired. I’ve had a busy few days – both physically and emotionally. I’ve also had several coaching clients. This energises me but puts pressure on me to ‘do’ all those other things in a shorter space of time. And that is being a mum in today’s world – navigating and trying to fit everything into a set amount of time. This means filtering what’s really important. So for me that’s time to cook and eat wholesome food and have cuddles with my son.

So in that gap I’ve had to create space for myself. For me, that’s sitting with a cuppa and breathing. Breathing into my body, being conscious, and noticing how I feel. I notice what I need and if there’s any tension. I use my breath to energise and relax my body and mind. It’s a practice. Every day I do this so that it becomes easier to still the racing mind and access my body’s wisdom.

There’s a shift in that space as I ‘get out of my way’ and instead become curious about what’s arising. Curiosity is fantastic – its expansive rather than contracted. There’s room to breathe. Then there’s room for my intuition or deeper knowing to speak. That may be a whisper or a shout – either way I am paying attention to it while remaining relaxed and open.

If I’ve got more time, it’s great to get outdoors in nature. Ideally barefoot on the earth as it balances our energy and reduces inflammation. I’m great at that in the summer, we rarely do it in the winter but we do go for family walks to the beach or woods.

This week I invite you to be curious about the space you create for yourself – is it enough?

*Do you crave more? How can you do that? Be curious and open without going into any blame or shame if it feels impossible.
*Ask yourself what do I feel? What do I need? And listen to the answers.
There’s no need to fix anything in this moment. It’s about listening to yourself and starting to create a relationship with yourself.
*Do things you love! If you’re a mum with kids – do them together – sing, dance, go for walks or swims, paint and create. What makes your heart sing?

This was originally posted as a guest blogger at https://helentague.com/space/

Body Confidence

Here’s a blog I wrote last month for Pocket Guru

This morning my four year old son said to me ‘you’ve got a big bum’ and I immediately told him that’s not something we say. But I wonder what would have happened if I’d said ‘yes isn’t it gorgeous?’ And danced with him – ok maybe not we were in public toilets at the time!
But he’s four. He’s stating fact not judgement.
And I’m curious how I can make my responses be fun and empowering for both of us. I don’t want him to grow up ashamed of his amazing body and I don’t want him to judge others either. I want him to see the beauty and variety of life.
I wouldn’t say I’m body confident: I’d love to be slimmer, to easily find clothes that fit and I feel beautiful in. But I don’t name and shame myself. The last time I did that I was on my coaches training in LA in 2011 and I hit the belief ‘I’m a burden’ and it hurt. Along with that was ‘I’m ugly’. I was lucky enough to have lots of coaches to support me through that, plus my own deeper knowing that it simply wasn’t true.
My life was in deep transition at that point – I was 40 years old, I’d been in chronic pain since my early 20s, I’d just quit my 10 year job (with no clear work plan) and flown from England to LA for the coaches training (blowing a huge chunk of our life savings). I was only at the beginning of a major life shift. That pain began a deep healing process that culminated in my beautiful damaged body getting pregnant just months later despite years of pain and infertility.
So now when I look in the mirror, I see my life: scars from surgery, wrinkles from life, my body which nurtures my child, provides a safe space for him and others. Every day, without fail, my body gets up and moves. And that truly is a blessing.

*I invite you to choose to look at your beliefs and self-judgements about yourself in a new way. How can you make it fun and vibrant?
*Take a few moments to appreciate your body’s life story. What have you overcome in your life?
*Really celebrate the wonder of you. Trillions of cells working in harmony together every moment to keep you alive.
*Look in the mirror at yourself. Name three things you can love or like about yourself e.g. How life shines from your eyes, your skin, hair, your smile, hips, belly, feet etc!
*Ask others what they love about you.
*Invite in joy and positivity (from yourself and others)
*Notice how your body feels and moves when you’re in that joy.
*If there’s a part of you that you really don’t love, how would it be to extend loving kindness, to touch that part and thank it for being part of you?
*Use this wonderful invitation by Pocket Guru to really celebrate every part of yourself.

Enough!

It’s so easy in our lives to get bogged down with the everyday living, feeling overwhelmed and not enough. To desperately try to complete the seemingly never ending ‘to do’ lists and keep adding to them. To try to fit in with others while being unique in some way. It’s exhausting.
What if there’s another way?
What if there’s a way to be and a place to stand where you are enough. There’s enough in the world and it’s enough to be yourself?
What would it be like to look at your life from this place? Take a moment and breathe into that. How would you stand, sit? How would you breathe? Notice your other senses. How would you feel as enough?
Now imagine your life is enough. Imagine stepping into it for a moment. What and who would you be being? What would be occurring in your life? In this place of enoughness, imagine being central to your life – an active participant.

Life is happening through you, not to you. You are co-creating your life, what will you create? What calls to you from the depth of your being? What rises up? Let go of the shoulds and the musts and listen… at first it may only be a whisper so listen carefully as your inner voice rises up. And keep listening. Notice if there’s a different quality to this deep inner voice – how it rises from your depths. How does it feel? Is part of it a knowing? An understanding? A yes? How does it feel energetically? Inspiring? Nurturing? Growth-orientated? Listen and feel. Go beyond my words and experience yourself in all that you are.

From this space of being yourself, be curious about your life. With love, empathy and compassion view your life as it is now: the things, people that make up your life. Be curious about your ‘work’, the way you express yourself in your life, what’s your ‘calling’? Are those needs being met?
And notice if anything changes in this moment of curiosity.

I invite you to play with this for the next week or more. Be curious where you feel enough in your life and where you feel you are striving to be enough. Open a space to be curious about this, without shame or judgement but instead with curiosity and wonder.

Your body is made up of trillions of cells working together in each moment. Let that sink in. How amazing you are by simply being. You are and always have been enough. Feel that, breathe it in.

Now be curious about yourself and how you want to live your Radiant life. Imagine expanding yourself into that.

This is the space we create and hold together in a transformative coaching and healing partnership. I hold the possibility of your brightest life. I liken it to a spiral – we walk the spiral together and we access it from all levels be that past, present, future, energy, emotions, beliefs, patterns, wounds, spiritual resources and so much more. You are the creator of your life and I support and empower you to claim your Radiant life.

If this calls to you, please contact me for a free discovery coaching session or free distant healing session.

Being Curious

Powerless
We had a trip to the dentist last week and it’s bought up so much for me on many levels. I can see that I was mostly feeling powerless in the situation. Despite sending Reiki , I wasn’t grounded in myself and felt unprepared.
I was told I have a tiny bit of decay around the edge of a childhood fissue seal that’s over 30 years old and advised to have it filled. I said I wanted six months to try healing it myself.

Giving myself Time
Twenty-five years ago I was a dental nurse so I’m aware that some dentists like to fill while others watch. As someone who studies natural health, I’m very aware there are things I can do to support my body. And in that moment at the dentists, I felt very vulnerable. I left stating my wishes for time very quietly (though firmly). I took a stand for myself. But I’m also aware that I easily slid into invisibility as a way of protecting myself.

Curiosity
And I’m curious – can I heal this? Should I just have it filled? But if so, what are the options and what is the impact of that? I’d certainly never put amalgam in my body but I don’t have much information on the other options and the price implications too. I have a tiny white filling in a tooth that was watched for years before I agreed to it being filled. And I’m curious how I feel a failure that I have that one filling already. The dental nurse in me knows too that once filled a tooth is weakened.

Resources
So I’ve been researching options and started with coconut oil pulling which is swishing oil around my mouth for 20 mins a day to detox and kill bacterial. I know it’s working because I felt sick after the first couple of times!
My son and I have made our own remineralising toothpaste to give my tooth the best chance to heal. Thankfully he likes it too as it’s a good healthy toothpaste for him to use too.
I’ve started taking vitamin D again as it’s been shown in studies to be an important factor in tooth health.
I’m also adjusting my diet to more tooth friendly foods (less grains, nuts etc)
Added to this, I’m sending Reiki and telling my body it can heal (gently with love).
I’m reminding myself of all the things I have healed – the auto-immune rash lichen planus I had in my mouth after my grandfather died that gradually went without any pain (and amazed dentists as it was bad and ‘should have hurt’), the lichen planus that occurred on my wrist in the months before I quit my job, the years of chronic pain and infertility from scar adhesions and so on. Our bodies are amazing things with great capacities to heal if we support them (and many times they’ll heal even if we don’t).

Claiming my Power
I’ve been really supporting my body these past few months to restore and reach a strong base and this is all part of that. I’m giving myself time. I’m not saying I won’t have a filling but I will try to heal naturally first and review when I feel the time is right. It’s my body and I know her, I know some of her capabilities and I’ll listen to that.
Which brings me to celebration – for my body but also for this opportunity to explore and practice even greater self care and awareness.
Part of that self care too is the external – what do I want from a dentist? The answer for me is someone who will partner with me, listen to me, challenge me? (Maybe!) someone who comes from a love-base not a fear base. My power, as it’s always been, is that I can ask for and find that. I’m not a tooth to be filled, I’m a living organism of trillions of cells working in harmony.
Taking this wider too, I’m deeply curious about where my body is in healing, breakdown as it can be viewed is most probably breakthrough as I’ve been really supporting myself for months. I don’t know when this decay occurred. For all I know it could have been nearly a year ago and has halted. Which brings me back to curiosity. I simply don’t know and it doesn’t matter. What matters is how I approach this in my power, following my intuition and being open to the information and resources around me. This is an opportunity to play with my briefs, to witness them and notice where I lose or gain my power. But most of all it’s a chance to stand in love for myself and this enquiry and for my tooth and whole body. Without blame or shame, I stand in curiosity and wonder about the future. No matter what the outcome if I’m in my power and listening and attentive to myself I’m in the space of growth.

This week I invite you to be curious about the things that are showing up in your life.
Listen to yourself deeply.
Give yourself time.
What meaning are you making? Is it really true?
Where is your power?
Where does your energy flow?
What resources do you have or need?

Lack

I’m grateful for lack of … which reconnects me to what’s important in my life. Where resources are tight (time, energy, money) what really matters to me? What meets my values and energises me?

I’ve been curious these past few weeks about where I’ve been in ‘lack’ and how it’s impacting my life: lack of… energy, time, money, self-worth – all biggies. But and it’s a big but – simply being aware of it changes it. It’s no longer hidden in plain sight but witnessed with love. I’ve talked before about Stepping out of Pain and into Power and it’s the same with these false beliefs/old stories – being aware of them, witnessing them and being curious starts the change and begins releasing them.

For a while now I’ve been witnessing my perceived lack of energy. I had various stories running that one – I’m old! I have a four year old. I don’t get the sleep or rest time I need….. and then I looked at what was really happening and saw that: I could eat more nourishing foods, I could try herbal supplements to boost my system, I could try sleeping longer instead of rushing to do things at night or from early morning. I saw that I was actually doing a lot! And I was also ‘being’ a lot too – holding people in my energy system, extending love to them is something I love to ‘do’ but being curious about it opens it up for further investigation and enquiry. At times when my energy is lower, perhaps I could be careful around all energy extension. And part of my overall enquiry is that I’m female and my hormonal cycle has different energy levels throughout. Witnessing those gives me clarity on times to do and be.

There are certain things I love which replenish me so I’ve been increasing those too. I’ve started taking our son swimming – before I felt lack because I didn’t get to swim unless I invited my Dad along and even then I was always conscious of them and how my son was. Now I’m loving teaching him to swim, playing being a shark or a crocodile and simply enjoying his joy at learning to swim. I still come out with that gentle buzz from swimming even though I’ve not done 30+ lengths.

I’m really noticing too how lack of energy is the main driver for me around eating. I eat to boost my energy so that I can keep going. And that’s not ‘wrong’ it’s just how it is. Part of that is noticing it, then deciding to eat (and what). There’s a disconnect from myself in this and every lack situation. If I breathe into it I realise how I long for peace and probably sleep. If that’s not possible as it’s in the afternoon etc I can choose gentle activities with my son to give myself space. Likewise I can use gentle herbs to restore my vitality and lots of water too.

Food is a big ‘story’ in my life. It’s not something I can ignore as I need/want to eat every day! For example we are passionate about organic clean food so that makes up probably 80% of our diet – organic fruit, veg, pulses, some grains. We support our health with herbs and vitamins etc. Yet I’m noticing that I’m still drawn to simple carbs like fresh bread and butter. I’m in deep enquiry as I’ve shared before in Joyful Food, Joyful Life – I am turning lack into abundance. I am being present with myself as I eat (most of the time). I am listening and choosing the foods I want. I’ve been so lucky to be part of a fantastic Radiant Living programme by www.innersparks.com which has really given me simple and effective tools and practices to support myself. It’s work in progress but I am noticing that my underlying lethargy has reduced greatly. I feel stronger and have more energy – I’m just using it up too!

It fascinates me that I have such a huge story around lack of money and that that’s the area I feel most powerless. With energy and time I can be practical and breathe into them and gain clarity, understanding and create new stories. With money this has felt a lot less clear. And part of that I feel is because we’re creating a new way of being. We’re creating a holistic lifestyle that supports the three of us. In some ways it’s traditional with my husband working while I’m at home with our son. And yet, being self-employed means Steve has lots of time with our son as he’s home early. Likewise, I have time in the evenings or when our son is with his grandparents for reiki or coaching. It, too, is work in progress as we create the structure that supports us.

Part of my story around money is not being wasteful. We love a charity shop or freegle find – knowing that something is preloved is a benefit. It’s not a sign of ‘lack’ to us but rather something to be treasured. Our son loves charity shop toys, games and books. I’m an avid reader so stock up on books and I love a bag bargain! Likewise we love to recycle our items. We really think about buying new – what’s the cost – financially, to the Earth, do we need it?

I invite you to be curious about your own lack stories. Hold them tenderly and see where they’ve come from – perhaps you have a family story? Perhaps an event in your life triggered something?
What’s the cost to your life in having this story?
Be curious how your life would be with a new story?
What’s your first step towards that new story?
What step can you take today?

Stepping out of PAIN and into POWER (pt 2)

Today I want to talk more about Stepping out of Pain and into Power.

The dictionary definition of pain as a verb is ‘cause mental or physical pain to’ . To that I’d include emotional and spiritual pain. I want to stress just how ‘painful’ pain is so I’ve created an acronym to highlight different sections of my lived experience of it. Of course everyone is different and this is just one option but it might be fun to play with different definitions to create your own PAIN. By having a different perspective you are choosing to see it clearly and to stand in a different place in relation to your pain. What opens up then?

My (current) definition of PAIN:

Powerless – that feeling of having no control, being powerless in the face of …. physical, mental, emotional or spiritual pain. Of feeling trapped, that there’s no way out, no hope, no future. Just more of the same.

Alone – no one else can understand your experience. They can have empathy and compassion but they are not you living this experience. It’s completely isolating. There’s a sense of disconnect from everything – loved ones, yourself and life too. It’s very hard to even find hope that things could be different.

Invisible – no one sees the real you – the ‘you’ that’s free to do whatever you want, without constraint. The you that longs to move, to dance, to be joyful and radiant. Or you may feel that you need to be invisible to survive – that it’s ‘best’ if others don’t see you, that you have nothing to offer etc. You may be invisible to your own feelings and needs. It’s so painful to be here.

Not – loved, enough, wanted, important. Just say those to yourself – do any resonate? How do they make you feel?

No matter what your pain, you are probably hurting on many levels. Studies show that physical pain impacts our emotions and increases anxiety and social isolation which will impact our emotional state.

My own experience of physical pain was that I ‘shut down’ my feelings as a safety mechanism to survive. At the time, I felt I needed to conserve all my energy to just exist. Going to university or work was all I could handle. Relationships were strained as I felt no one understood what it was like to be in constant pain and the sheer energy it took to move and function every single day. I didn’t plan ahead, I simply existed. And I disconnected from my body too – choosing to ignore the pain (as much as possible) which in turn isolated me even from myself and my joy. In those years, I was my pain.

There’s so much to pain and it will be unique to each individual but wherever you are with pain, it’s rarely a powerful place to be standing.

So what if we choose to stand in a different place? What happens if we choose and, are supported, to claim and stand in our power? What if we choose to not be our pain?

There’s so many elements and practices we can ‘do and be’ to be in our power. Here’s some simple ideas and practices to support you to claim your power, your way:

Possibility – what’s really possible in your life? What makes you feel that spark of life? What lights you up and makes you excited? If nothing could stop you, what do you most desire for your life? Think big!

Obstacles – what’s really in your way? Are they real tangible obstacles? How can you work with them? Such as skills needed for a new job, resources needed? A clear healthy food or supplement plan? Support through an emotional or physical trauma? Learning pain management skills?
Or are there hidden thoughts and feelings which are blocking you? Breathe into what’s stopping you and…

Witness – be curious and without judgement as you get clear on what’s actually present in your life. Are there false beliefs which are stopping you? Maybe you feel you’re not good enough or you’re too much? That you’re alone and trapped in your isolation and pain, that you’re invisible or powerless? These beliefs feel so real it’s hard to even witness them as false beliefs as they can be so insidious and pervasive in our life.

Energise – make a start – where you do feel energy? tap into it, use it to revitalise yourself. Where do you feel passion, desire, the energy flow in your life? Start there! If you can’t sense any energy in your life go back to possibility and play – imagine the life you could create if you had unlimited energy, support and resources … imagine you’re a small child with no sense of ‘impossible’ ….

Radiance – step into your power – use the energised feeling and expand it. Breathe into it and imagine expanding that energy throughout your whole body. Imagine walking through your day feeling this power and energy. You feel lit up from within, curious about others and the possibilities of your life. Shine and be Radiant. Even if you only feel one tiny spark – expand it a hundredfold and just imagine how it would feel to be fully Radiant in your life. And keep on expanding. Feel the joy and aliveness that comes with being yourself fully. If you can imagine it you can be it.

Is this easy? Yes! It will probably take lots of conscious practice, like strengthening a muscle – the more you do it, the more it becomes a habit and the stronger it gets. You may need support be that from family and friends or a coach etc.

Thomas Edison famously said: Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration

I’d like to add that the ‘journey’ or perspiration can be fun though! Take the time to connect to yourself and your inspiration before you start the journey so that you are clear where you are going.

As you claim your power, who will you be and what can you achieve in your precious life?

If this calls to you or you are simply curious about my ‘work’ please get in touch. I’m delighted to offer free 45 minute discovery sessions to connect to yourself, identify your pain and have clarity on how coaching can support you to achieve your wellness, radiance and joy.

Claiming your POWER

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure” Marianne Williamson

I can feel the truth in that. And it’s a shout-out for all those times when we’re feeling low and disempowered and not good enough or invisible to stop. To take a breath and choose to be powerful instead.

As a coach, one of the first things I ‘do’ after creating and holding a safe space with my client, is to really see, hear and feel their power and reflect that back to them.

Let me repeat that line again: Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

As we breath into that truth, our whole world shifts and the false beliefs become visible and loosen their hold a little. Once we can see what’s holding us back, we have the choice to be different, to make another choice, to choose to be powerful, enough, visible etc. Of course there will be hiccups along the way, there may well be major breakdowns (really breakthroughs) as we dismantle the old truths and habits that have formed the structure of our life. But we will be claiming our power and be expanded, rather than contracted to life and possibility.

When we make a different choice, we choose to grow. That doesn’t always mean it’s easy – remember growing as a child? There can be pain in growth from growing teeth, limbs growing bigger etc. It’s a stretch but a necessary one. Like a flower growing, we need to stretch in all directions – our roots planting us in the ground and our forward growth towards the sky and everything in between.

So I invite you, this week, this moment, to imagine you are immensely powerful and your focus has just been ‘a little off’ but you’re now correcting that. You can see/feel where you are going, even if you don’t know how to get there. Imagine standing in your power, breathing power into your body and imagine how your day is from this space: how are you showing up in the world? With friends and loved ones? How are you being in the world? How does your energy feel? Imagine expanding even more knowing that from this place of power and energy you have a limitless supply. Now what’s possible? What can you create in your precious life?

Can you feel your energy and power flowing? Can you feel possibility and life opening up?
This is transformational coaching – a space where all is seen and possibility and potential flows. This is you, your truth, your power.

I’m delighted to offer free discovery coaching sessions for those wanting to experience coaching and explore how it can help you to totally change your life.

Joyful Food, Joyful Life – self discovery

Since the beginning of March, I’ve been exploring a new way to live and eat. It’s an ongoing discovery, without shame and judgements as I explore what’s right for me.
I am so blessed to have robust health and a strong body. And yet as I’m now mid-40s it’s definitely ‘time’ to create optimum health and wellness.
There’s been several pivotal steps along the way so far. The first was a strong inclination to detox. We eat vegetarian, mostly organic food with high vegetable content, minimal wheat etc. And yet there were other foods and eating habits that I knew weren’t supporting my health. So I’ve increased natural ‘live’ foods, added in breakfast smoothies and generally have smaller portions.
At the same time, I created an online Joyful Food group with some Feminine Power sisters. We meet weekly and support each other – this is not a diet group – we’re diving into our beliefs and habits around food as well as exploring our lives as a whole. That support has been crucial to me – firstly as women sharing together and also as the self-appointed leader/facilitator, it’s lovingly forced me to show up and reflect each week.

Here’s some of my ‘findings and enquiries’ around food, health and being ourselves:

* What’s the truth about who we are?
* Be curious about your personal food story, letting it go and creating a new story filled with joy and freedom
* We are Sacred. Our bodies are sacred. From this viewpoint, gratitude flows and we naturally choose the foods that support us
* We celebrate ourselves and our precious life
* We must first connect to ourselves and then choose what to eat. Checking in to see what foods and how much and when
* Noticing where we’re judging ourselves or shaming ourselves for who we are and what we eat. Noticing the societal/cultural influences here especially around the ‘perfect’ body. Letting it go.
* What does ‘diet’ mean to us?
* Being aware of our natural cycles and our food/nutritional needs throughout the month as well as the need to rest.
* Noticing our basic survival needs around food – is that triggering us to overeat? Being curious about how to meet that need. For example I know I have low blood sugar so it nurtures me to know that I have good foods in my bag to eat should my blood sugar drop. Incidentally, as I’ve changed the foods in my diet, my blood sugar has remained stable.
* Connecting with our food – taking time to choose foods which call to us in a wholesome way. Taking time to prepare it lovingly, arrange the plate. Sit and eat slowly in silence, savouring each mouth full.
* Being curious (without judgement) if we don’t feel we have the time to prepare and eat food slowly… what’s stopping us?
* Only eat when physically hungry!
* Is food replacing a need within us? For example I was substituting food for fun! Being aware that we can be using food to ‘fix’ a hunger for something else… are we using food to give us a chemical ‘high’, to ‘fix’ tiredness, to comfort us when we feel drained by others or to give us comfort and a warm feeling?
* What are the real desires beneath the food?
* Are we using food as a ‘rule’ in life to keep us small, contained? What happens if we break the rules and barriers? For me there was a fear here that I’d overeat even more but actually the opposite is true – food is a joy to be savoured and there’s no charge around it anymore.
* What happens if we choose to take up all the space we need in life? Being curious – am I using a big body to take up space? Do I need a big body? For me this is the realisation that I can claim this space without a big body.
* Taking time and getting support for the emotions that food has been suppressing. Being in enquiry with this led me to creating the food group and seeking coaching to support myself as well as being present to myself
* What’s your pain? What are you trying to bury with food?
* I love Geneen Roth’s ‘Women, Food and God’ – in it she says spiritual hunger will never be solved on the physical level, love yourself with food: ‘your body is yours and you can eat as a way to be yourself’
* How can we truly be ourselves? Do we value ourselves for simply being ourselves rather than for what we can ‘do’. Sadly, most of the time this is NO and we have lots of false beliefs that cause great pain.
* Are we connected to ourselves and the Earth? How does being connected influence our food choices? Do we then naturally want to eat ‘alive’ natural foods?
* How can we step into joy for all of our life? So that food is an expression of that and a celebration? Celebration of food, of life, of ourselves – a new way of being.

For me, this food enquiry is about food and it isn’t! It’s about who we’re being as a person in the world. The foods we eat are a reflection of our inner landscape, our values and belief systems and all the things we’re suppressing too.
Have I got this totally sussed? No not yet. But I feel so much better in myself – I’m in alignment – the food choices I make are personal to me – they’re not from a book telling me what to eat, how to exercise etc although I research nutrition a lot. This is a lived experience… every day I connect with myself, I listen to what my body wants and I use food as a doorway to my desires and thoughts. I try to sit down quietly with my food and be present while I eat and I’ve had some deep insights on issues in my life which aren’t food related. By releasing the pressure of food and ‘ideal’ weight, I’m allowing my energy to fully flow and for other things to emerge.

On an outward level, I’ve lost 9kg easily. I’m choosing to exercise a lot more. My skin is glowing. On an inner level, I’m ‘me’ and that’s being reflected by the people I meet and coach. They can feel my energy and the space I hold. And I know that sounds like hippie talk but the truth is we’re energetic beings, we have an electromagnetic field. I’m sure that the high energy living foods I’m eating are adding to the energy I already have as a healer/coach and as ‘Sam’.

At the core of it all is who we are as sacred beings. That we each have the right and need to claim our space in the world and to be ourselves fully, in all our Radiance. By being ourselves, we support others to truly be themselves, to shine and be radiant too. Food is a gateway to this and I’m honoured that I can use this for my own self discovery and to support others with theirs. Because we’re in this together. It’s so not about the food, it’s about the JOY of being yourself, which is why I call it Joyful Food, Joyful Life. It’s a beautiful circle with our true selves.

So let’s start a revolution to discover ourselves, our desires, our passions and our potential. Let’s live that Joyful Life one mouthful at a time!

Please see my Joyful Food, Joyful Life coaching programme for information on one to one support

Stepping out of Pain and into Power

What does pain mean to you? What does physical, emotional or spiritual pain mean to you?

Did you know that:

*women have twice as many pain receptors as men and are more likely to suffer from chronic pain
*Studies show there’s a link between chronic pain, depression, anxiety and social isolation
*Studies show that spiritual activities influence general life happiness and satisfaction for those in chronic pain

*Imagine feeling pain-free or greatly reducing your pain
*Imagine feeling connected to your body and joyfully alive
*Imagine having the confidence and resources to take control of your life and create the life you want

I am honoured to offer support to women looking to step out of their pain, whatever that may be. To connect to themselves fully, reduce or stop their pain, feel well and live their lives radiantly and joyfully.

I’ve turned pain into PAIN

Use where you are right now as your start point to a vibrant, radiant and joyful life.

I’ve shared my story a number of times on my website but I’ll share briefly here from the pain perspective:
I had surgery for a rupturing ovarian cyst when I was 23. I had deep trauma from the surgery and clearly remember shaking so much that I had to held down as I came out of the anaesthetic. I felt I was being ripped in half as nurses pulled me upright hours later. That’s when I found out that drugs, including morphine don’t work for me. But I am physically strong so I buried my pain and made myself get up and move around so I could get out of hospital. That really was my experience for many years. My whole abdomen is full of scar tissue (adhesions) from that surgery and they don’t stretch so every movement ripped them. For years, I couldn’t stand up straight so I held on to walls to walk. I had a disabled badge at university so I could continue my course. I got support after uni so that I could work. And I learnt my limitations while pushing them. Alongside the physical pain was the emotional and mental pain as I forced my body to move through the pain. I felt trapped in myself. I felt so alone and my lived experience was that no one understood what it was like being me. I withdraw from life a lot. I questioned ‘why am I here?’ and had what I’d now term a spiritual pain and crisis as I felt disconnected from myself, others and life.
I’m so thankful to my parents who insisted I have ‘something’ and paid for me to have hypnotherapy and reflexology. Those opened the world of complementary therapies and self empowerment to me and led me to Reiki which is my great love. Reiki is a spiritual energy system that includes healing on every level.

Ironically, by the time I was referred to a pain clinic, they told me I could teach them from my learning.

And yet there was still a gap. An unnamed pain as well as the daily chronic pain. My husband Steve has propelled me forward in so many ways as he’s my rock and greatest advocate: seven years ago he insisted I take the Feminine Power 7 week online course. It totally transformed my life. Not only with its amazing content and deep principles and practices but because it comes with a community, something I was severely lacking. One of the teachings is: we can’t become ourselves by ourselves. That’s so true. And that’s why I’m a stand for women, wanting to emerge from their pain into their power, into their aliveness and radiance so that they can have a joyful life, no matter what the circumstances.

If this calls to you or you are simply curious about my ‘work’ please get in touch. I’m delighted to offer free 45 discovery sessions to connect to yourself, identify your pain and have clarity on how to achieve your wellness, radiance and joy.

Read Stepping out of Pain and into Power (part 2) 

Letting the Soul Speak

It felt particularly poignant that the Easter weekend – one of growth and rebirth – was one of breakdown and deep inner knowing and light.
I’ve been grappling with lots of big questions and living my life. I’ve been researching and discussing with Steve. I’ve been playing football with our son and helping him create his own flowerpot netball ‘net’ – how does he even know about that?
I’ve been sitting with guilt and rage and deep love and compassion. I’ve had beautiful coaching and support. I’ve given myself Reiki. I’ve eaten nourishing foods and listened to myself. I’ve accepted it’s a journey and been present to myself without (much) judgement (I’m not perfect!).
As a healer and coach I know that emotions want to be acknowledged and seen so that they can flow again rather than stay stagnate. But it still Hurts. A Lot.
I’ve been listening. I’ve been called into a deep spiritual space where energy flows. I’ve started listening to Danielle LaPorte’s latest book which speaks deeply and poetically to my soul.
And while exercising this morning, greater clarity has come. Simple. Beautiful. Acceptance and Knowing.
My heart and soul spoke of love and connection. And in that space, the answers flow.

So I invite you to become present to yourself and deeply listen for the answers to the questions of your life.
And if there are no answers, feel into it and see if it’s the question that needs changing. Very often we get stuck by asking questions that can’t be answered, that don’t generate a life-giving, flow answer. Change the question if it only gives you yes or no. Change the nature of the enquiry.

The Power of Ritual

I’ve used ritual off and on over the years and love it’s power but don’t use it every day. Unless you count Reiki as ritual as it’s a sacred space and I definitely use it every single day.

On Friday, I had a powerful coaching session with two Feminine Powers sisters. I was coaching one and the other was holding the sacred space with us. Ritual was very powerful that night as we started with an opening centering to bring our energies and awareness into the space together. I asked us to imagine we were holding hands in a circle around a fire. That image stayed throughout the session and we used it to let go of old beliefs and to create the space for the new to come in. I’ve not used ritual in a coaching session to that extent before and I’ll definitely do it in future if it feels right.

On this Easter weekend, it feels right to let go of the old and call forth the new. Ritual can help with that process energetically as well as physically. So maybe you want to light a garden fire and write short notes of all the things you’d like to get rid of; throw them into the fire and feel your energy cleansed with release and relief. Or maybe you’re walking along the beach, throwing stones with the things you want to release into the sea.
When you’ve let go of everything that you want to release, call forth the things you want to create and imagine them coming towards you. Create space in your life for the new both energetically but also physically – so if your garage or cupboard is full to overflowing, now might be a good time to start sorting things. Likewise, go through your clothes and see which ones make you feel good and which might be better for someone else.

Time and Priorities

The other day I mentioned that I read 1 or 2 books a week and was told that I ‘have too much time on my hands’. This got me thinking about time and priorities. I hadn’t stipulated whether they were fiction or non-fiction books but that’s not relevant. I know for my own health that I need downtime reading. Usually I alternate fiction with non-fiction self-development or health books. I’m reading David Hamilton’s latest at the moment on Kindness which is really interesting.
Likewise, I can take up to an hour preparing our family evening meal – last night that was lentil and veg cottage pie with peas. I enjoy cooking most of the time and I want us to eat healthy food that’s made with love and for me that’s cooking from scratch. Equally my breakfast smoothie, pancakes or homemade rice pudding take moments to make and I have frozen dhal or split pea soups if I don’t fancy salad etc for lunch. I’m a very organised person so it’s easy for me to think ahead and have foods to hand especially as I’m doing an almost vegan detox at the moment so food is high on my priorities.
Obviously our son takes up a huge chunk of my time 24/7 but it’s lovely to snuggle reading together and cooking together.
We have a dedicated ‘family day’ for walks in the woods, paddles in streams or the beach.
The other big thing in my life is healing and coaching. As I’m doing the Feminine Power coaching training again as an evergreen student, there’s hours of calls to listen to plus vibrant exploratory practice groups each week. This feeds my soul and connects me to others having the same experience and really gives me a sense of community and growth. Likewise books inform my knowledge in the areas I’m most interested – natural health and wellness and healing. While natural food also feeds my soul and expands my Reiki as I’m a purer channel for it.

Think about your ‘time’ and what is vitally important to you and how it nurtures you…. do you have enough time? Do you need more?
Notice if there are time wasters that you could reduce or eliminate from your life?
Be curious about your beliefs about both – what are your ‘shoulds’ and your ‘should-nots’?

Body Listening

I have just had a deeply healing and profound experience. As part of my Feminine Power coaches re-training (evergreen teaching), I met with a dear Feminine Power sister this spring equinox morning. We went through an exercise taught at the recent Feminine Power retreat by Katie Hendricks who led the group through her bodify exercise. It’s a short exercise to embody first the ‘old story’, then the ‘new story’.
As coaches we are trained to get to things quickly to enable our clients to move on with their lives and we do a lot of body listening too. This is a very different and exciting experience with the coach holding the space and supporting and encouraging/amplifying the experience.
My experience was of becoming completely contracted – body hunched over, trying to get smaller and smaller, to take up less and less space so that others wouldn’t take so much of ‘me’ and ‘my energy’. There was a lot of pain in there of feeling violated by my surgery and labour as Doctors cut me and forced me into situations where I felt I had no control. Despite 23 years of healing work, this still felt raw. There was anger too – internal screaming ‘this is my space’.
The ‘new story’ was one of expansion, pushing my shoulders back and breathing deeply. Being present and grounded and aware of my space – that I allow others into but do not allow them to take. I could look around, breathe, be confident. This space held purity too – pure breath, pure energy.
This is so interesting as this past week I’ve been cleansing my diet and being mostly vegan. I’m very aware that although I’m healthy, my weight is way beyond ideal and I have lots of stories related to that – low blood sugar, difficulty or fear exercising due to abdominal adhesions, genetics, intolerances etc. I’ve also been aware of my body being a ‘protection’ but today I realised that it is trying to take up the space bodily I haven’t been allowing myself energetically to take up.
In light of the ‘new story’ this impulse to cleanse makes so much sense. Synchronistically I had a powerful reading last week that highlighted purity too. And this pulls together so many themes in my life – I don’t take medical or any drugs, we eat as much organic food as we can, vegetarian, natural cleaning products, we’re very aware of waste and try to recycle or pass along things we no longer need or re-home things we do want rather than buy new. In essence, we try to live as naturally as possible while having the ‘perks’ of life such as an economical car, computer etc.
This is still new and fresh and I’m sure it will evolve as I sit with it over the hours and days.
I’m so excited to see how this shifts/gives me a new perspective and how I can incorporate it into my healing and coaching.

This week, I invite you to listen to your intuition – what is it saying? What do you feel called to do, to create, to eat? Who do you feel compelled to connect with?

Shift perspective and look at your life from this new perspective. What becomes possible then?

Kindness

I was upset last night, my four-year-old came up to me, wrapped his arms around me and repeated the self-soothing I’ve always given him (you’re ok, I’ve got you, you’re safe…)
I don’t want to be a ‘perfect’ mother, I want to be human and I want him to see and understand the full spectrum of emotions. Of course, I try not to express too much but we’d had a bad day with a temper tantrum on Waitrose floor (him not me!) and I was frazzled.
In that moment I felt we were both empowered by his kindness – me because I’ve raised him to value that and him because he knew what to do in that moment that expressed kindness and love. X

Overwhelm

Early in the year is always a challenging time for me – the previous year has ended and I’m consciously letting go of it. The new is emerging and while I feel inspired to be different and set and act on inspiring intentions, it’s still winter and a time of inward reflection and planning rather than doing.
This year I’ve tried to navigate that in the face of external breakdowns – our phone and Internet were broken and our ‘new’ car was in the garage for a week. I spent a lot of time and energy trying to get them fixed. At the same time, I was planning our son’s birthday and my Grandmother’s the next day. I made a lot of cake! I was also working on my website and deeply engaging with the Feminine Power coaches re-training.
I felt very overwhelmed, over-extended and exhausted. It’s a feeling I was used to when I worked in an office, less so now.
I certainly didn’t navigate it all perfectly, far from it! I collapsed in the chair at the end of the day, I pushed through exhaustion, I got up at 4am to ‘plan’ and keep on track. I ate ‘wrong’ things that didn’t support me.
Yet I also took care of myself – I gave myself down time to read and listen to music. I had walks and connected with friends and fellow coaches for empowered conversations that uplifted me and helped me back on track.
I simplified things – for example our son didn’t want a big friend’s party so we had family celebrations and saw his best friends. We had a family birthday morning – just the three of us. I asked for support and received it. I gave myself Reiki and sent it to each day. And I planned a relaxed week after the birthday celebrations.
If you are feeling overwhelmed, over-extended or exhausted:
Stop for a moment and breathe deeply
Ask yourself what do you feel and need? Listen for the answers. You might not be able to fix it in that moment but you’re listening
Make sure you drink still water and eat natural energising foods
Exercise – do something you love eg swim, dance, run, yoga, Pilates etc
Get moving – put in music and dance! Just do something fun.
Go for a walk outdoors – connect to the earth – countryside, woods, seaside etc. Let the wind blow away the past and your stresses – consciously imagine your stress being blown away
Sleep – make sure you relax before bed – read, have a bath, meditate etc. Turn off phones, television etc an hour before bed
Look at your ‘to do’ list and simplify it. Does it all have to be done now? If so how is that achievable?
Ask for support and gratefully receive it
Be vulnerable and let others know how you’re feeling. Connecting to others gives us energy.
Expand your energy rather than contract. I’ve written about this before here.
Be kind and nurturing – to yourself and others
Listen to your self-talk – is it loving and supportive, if not – what’s the underlying false belief it’s projecting? Work on that. Imagine holding that part of you as if it were a young child. Hold and sooth that child.

If you feel you need support please contact me for a free discovery coaching session on 07531 769970 or samrockcooper @gmail.com

Fear

Nearly six years ago I faced my fears and decided to step off the cliff and into a different life. It terrified me.
For my 40th birthday, we went to Italy with friends to stay with a fellow Feminine Power student. She has an amazing organic olive farm in Umbria and the views and energy there is breathtaking. I should have been so happy, yet I was exhausted, depressed and seriously depleted. All I could think about was work and trying to stop myself checking emails. Steve had been asking me to quit my job for 8 years but following a location change it was now more draining than ever. My role had been adapted over time into something I didn’t want to do and struggled to do so it took up even more energy. Where once, I had bounded into work to be with my friends, now I regularly went to the toilets to place energy bubbles of protection around me. I escaped at lunchtime for walks with my iPod. I was miserable. Yet I couldn’t see a way out. Fear kept me trapped.
That holiday and being 40 was time to stop, stand back and look at my life. At the same time I’d finished the Feminine Power 7 week course months earlier and touched my desire to have a child. Yet increasing pain from my adhesions (which are triggered a lot by stress) and excruciating ovulation pain made that dream seem impossible. So I spent a lot of time just ‘being’ on that hilltop, connecting to the earth and myself. Adelheid and I talked a lot and as we left I promised myself I’d leave my job that year.
Two more months rolled by and I sank deeper and deeper into depression. On the one hand I felt uplifted and seen and heard in the Feminine Power Mastery course and then I felt almost invisible at work. I wanted to be invisible at work. I had many sleepless nights as I felt so completely stuck.
At the beginning of July, I visited my Doctor which is a very rare occurrence. She diagnosed depression and asked me what I wanted to do. It was a Friday and I told her I’d quit my job on Monday! And I did! On July 4th 2011 I handed in my notice after nearly 10 years. It wasn’t easy – my Boss and Director were away so I had to tell HR and then phone my Director. After 10 years, she was surprised but so warm and generous. I then had three days of knowing I was leaving but not being able to tell my colleagues until my Director and Boss returned. Then I had lots of questions – where are you going? I don’t know! I was literally stepping off the cliff into nothing.
And life beautifully called to me with the Feminine Power coaching training being offered in the September. With Steve’s support, I decided to spend a big chunk of our savings and booked the training. I negotiated with work to use my holiday and lieu time to leave a month early. I told my hairdresser to have fun with my hair and in my final week at work I had bubblegum pink streaks in my hair. One of the IT guys did a double-take like in the films – it was hilarious.
I left work one day and flew to LA alone the next. I’m not sure which was the scariest! Other women on the shuttle bus were going to the training too and my roommate met me with the biggest hug.
I’m so glad I finally stepped into the unknown. From that place, I’ve retrained as a transformative coach, made lifelong friends and birthed our son. I’ve faced that deep internal terror again at his birth. I’m still here.
For me life is energy, it flows with ups and downs just like waves lapping on the shore. From that perspective I know that I have the power and resources to face anything – indeed in my life I’ve faced many big fears and obstacles. I’ve adapted, I’ve learnt, I’ve thrived. Life really is a deep blessing.

What is coaching?

For me coaching is deep listening on all levels. As a healer, I’m naturally aware of energy and I listen for it… I can hear the energy in a person’s voice, see it in their face and body, feel it in my body and the space between us. Science shows how powerful our magnetic fields are. I’ve learnt over 20+ years to be very aware of it.
Coaching is also about asking key questions to help focus and bring clarity. As a coach I’m very aware that the client ‘knows’ – they may be confused, feel stuck etc but they ‘know’ on a deep level and they are already transforming their life. It’s my joy to help them reach that connection to themselves.
Coaching is about peeling back the layers and letting the light and beauty of the other person shine. Yes there’s lots of practical steps to achieving that which can include simple meditations, deep exercises, questioning, creating and holding the space together, listening for new inspired actions and ways of being and doing in the world.
Transformative Coaches are often called Midwives – as we midwife our clients potential in the world – we support them as they ‘birth’ their potential and desires.
It’s a beautiful calling and I feel deeply honoured to support women transform their lives. That moment when they have clarity and ‘ahha’ and they are so peaceful and still is so precious. Equally there’s lots of laughter and playfulness and while we don’t ‘skip over’ the pain, there’s a way to dance and honour it while accessing its deepest meaning.
Coaching is clarity and understanding so that choices can be made to be and to do things differently. That’s when life transforms – when we make a choice to do it differently, while honouring all that we are.

Birth Day

Our son was four recently. We had such a lovely family birthday marking this milestone but also our own as his parents. How we’ve grown and changed in these years and how strong our alignment in how we raise our son and where we’re going on our parenting path.
It was also a time of reflection: on that day four years ago when we birthed our son very much together. It wasn’t the beautiful natural experience we wanted. It was filled with pain and anxiety and feeling that we were being pushed by the medical professionals. Yet through that we were together, parents already. Steve massaged my back for 36 hours. He never left my side. He calmed me through the pain that I can’t take medicine for. He held me as I had an epidural and was later rushed to theatre. He held my hand as I was prepped for a caesarean, while I begged doctors not to as I would put down more adhesions that had caused nearly 20 years of chronic pain. He was there with me as our son was helped into the world with forceps and struggled to breathe. We were together as our son was placed in his fathers arms minutes later and declared healthy. I can’t describe the relief after being told he’d need to go to a special ward. The joy was amazing but the trauma was present for a very long time.
I’m so thankful for the support we received those 36 hours but equally I’m aware of how I felt powerless and ‘trapped in the system’. I had glimmers of power as I managed the pain through self-help techniques and drawing upon Steve’s strength. But at the end of the day, I felt forced into the operating room despite my protests. That hurt. A lot. For a long time.
Well wishers said ‘but you have a beautiful child’ but that didn’t stop the shaking, tears, anger and the fear that rose through my body every time I remembered his birth. I gave myself lots and lots of Reiki. I used the Feminine Power practices to ground myself, to listen to myself, to respect my feelings. And I opened myself up to the possibility that I could heal even though it felt impossible.
Then life beautifully gifted me the opportunity of an EFT session with an amazing woman who supports women through their birth trauma. That 90 minute call was filled with laughter and caring as we processed through the experience. I can’t thank Manal enough for that gift and the subsequent sessions we’ve shared on different topics.
Just writing this triggers me slightly as I remember our ‘birth day’ but it gives me energy now – I know I can get through anything, that I have the resources and power to do so. Equally, I can see where I’m giving away my power in my life and choose not to. This can be done softly and respectfully. This is where Feminine Power coaching really supports me – to soften, listen to my intuition/deeper knowing and trust in possibility – it’s an active trust though – choosing to believe there’s always possibility and options if I take a moment to breathe and listen with all my senses.
I am so grateful for our son who enriches our lives immeasurably. Equally I’m so grateful for the life and experiences I’ve had.

Standing in a place of possibility

As mum to a three year old, my world has been very inward facing – pretty much all about him with a tiny bit of ‘other’ on the periphery. That’s felt fine to a large extent – I/we made that choice knowing that for the first six years a child’s brain is laying down the love/connect pathways. We want him to be a loved, self-confident boy and man.
Now as his four birthday approaches in the winter, I find myself standing in a place of possibility about my/our family future. I say I find myself but in large part it’s due to the feminine power retraining I’m taking at the moment as I’m totally immersed in it. I’ve been doing Feminine Power for over six years now and the work has moved on and deepened considerably. I love this work so much and it’s given me so much. I’ve shared before about daring to dream about having a child when it seemed impossible and setting that intention with my husband.
So now as I breathe down into my hips, my legs and into the earth, I extend my energy outwards too – into that space of possibility… trusting that opportunities, connections, resources will come to me. I am open to inspiration, creativity, connection… I let it flow through me and be me…
I witness what comes with love, respect, gratitude and I open and widen some more. As more and more comes, I widen even more especially if I feel overwhelmed. It’s in these moments that instinct can be to contract, make ourselves small but by widening the space, I can hold all of it. So I breathe and go deeper and deeper.
Out of this space comes the Power Statement: I am here to thrive and shine. I can feel it in my body – a deep sense of grounding and knowing that resonates through my body. I feel at peace and present.
From this space, I feel creative and alive, I feel the pull to ‘do’ certain things – for me now it’s to write, to share, to be myself.
It feels organic, alive and vibrant to be in this space of possibility. There’s a trusting too .. being willing to let things unfold in their own time, following the impulse and enjoying the unknowing. This is feminine power – being present to ourselves, listening, witnessing and gratefully receiving inspiration, creativity and joy.

Emotions

Raising our son is a spiritual experience for me. That’s not to say it isn’t ‘challenging’ and I often wish I’d done something different.
But I’m so grateful to have this opportunity – one I didn’t think I’d ever have. Finding out we were having a boy was beautiful and wonderful. In less than an hour we’d chosen Dillon’s first and second name. We wanted Irish as a nod to his father’s heritage and it had to have a special meaning.
I look at him now at 44 months old – a child and yet so grown up already. We spend so much precious time together as mother and son and as family with Dad and other family too. He loves to be outdoors and we take long family walks at the weekend where we find bugs, splash in streams and pick up leaves, acorns and conkers.
Already he’s verbalising moods – often saying ‘mummy smile’ or ‘mummy’s sad’ and I encourage him to verbalise emotions (his and ours) so that he has clarity but also knows that at any moment they can change especially if tickling is involved!
We give lots of hugs and he’ll ask for them too as we do. I feel it’s so important for him to have touch and equally that it’s ok if he doesn’t want a cuddle.

I love the feminine power practice of asking yourself:
What do I feel?
What do I need?
In any given moment we might not be able to meet those needs and that’s ok – it’s about witnessing them, being aware without the need to fix anything. Feelings come and go – if we let them. They flow.
It’s good to know we have the power to change them too – whether that’s by witnessing them, changing perspective or getting involved in a tickle fest!

Healing in Nature

We’ve just had a relaxing and rejuvenating week in Cornwall. Staying in a bungalow on the clifftop at Gorran Haven.
We did some touristy things – visiting the model railway museum at Mevagissey with a train-obsessed 3 year old and the Maritime museum at Falmouth to see Viking ships. The rest of the time has been visiting seaside spots and beaches.
Gorran Haven has such a lovely beach – just minutes from our holiday Bungalow. We mostly had it to ourselves with the occasional people and dogs walking past. This past autumnal week has been incredible – the sea has been different each time – from the deepest blue when we arrived a week ago to a mid blue a couple of days ago and then a glacial blue. It’s almost been too beautiful to watch. I’ve paddled in it and taken pictures but they can’t reflect the impact it’s had on me. I felt my soul expanding, being cleansed by the blue, the lapping waves and the sheer peace and tranquility of the water.
This morning, we stopped at Mevagissey for a final model railway trip. Walking along the harbour, the wind was whipping the sea and the waves were crashing against the shore and walls. Our son laughed with us as spray hit us.
I love water – one minute quiet and deep, another churning and crashing. Always so immensely powerful.
We enjoy lots of walks in nature and I love seeing the different trees in autumn but the sea this week has called to me, has healed me. I came to the holiday exhausted and disconnected, I leave it reconnected to myself and life. I certainly haven’t done all the reading or Feminine Power ‘work’ I planned to. Instead we’ve had lots of family time, I’ve run in the waves with our son, we’ve dug water trenches in the sand and we’ve enjoyed watching sunrises and sunsets. I feel so lucky to share this as a family. Nature is so powerful and also so restful and rejuvenating.

We stayed at www.shelbournecornwall.co.uk
which is a lovely large bungalow owned by a dear friend. You can see pictures I’ve taken of Shelbourne and the surrounding area on Pinterest and Instagram

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Blessings

I am so grateful for the many blessings in my life – my husband and child, family, friends, my creativity, my experiences … it’s an endless list.

I am especially grateful today for a very dear Feminine Power Sister who stands with me and supports me when I need coaching. We probably share weekly depending on who needs support so one of us might want to be coached or we might split our time coaching each other. It’s a very precious space. Both of us have been doing Feminine Power for six years. We’ve met in person in Los Angeles five years ago for the FP Coaching training. We are soul sisters. I am forever grateful for her beautiful presence in my life and especially for the lightness of soul she brings.
Every session unfolds differently with her questioning, presence and witnessing. She sees me. If I hide, she calls me out. If I try to change direction as a diversion, she feels it and presences it. If I get stuck she reflects back what has already been shared. She holds a space for my ‘greatness’ (the latest buzzword – I’m still processing it ?) and names my potential.
She is a wise woman just as all women are. We have our fantastic life stories, our pains, our celebrations. We are women who have lived, who are living, who are growing and flourishing. We are processing less developed parts of ourselves and we are magnificent in other developed parts. This is life.

Whatever you feel is ok

I wrote these last week when I was too sad to share. But we all go through grief and it’s ok to be sad – a very valuable lesson I’ve been able to share with my son. A big lesson to me to stop and really feel what I’m feeling and seek the support I need too.

I’ve been deeply upset this week as a dear dear friend and surrogate grandmother died and her funeral was yesterday.
I feel so grateful and blessed to have shared so many years with her. Being in her presence was amazing as she saw the good and potential in everyone. She always had a compliment and a smile. I love going back through those beautiful memories.
Gradually, as her funeral drew nearer I have become sadder, realising I suppose just what I’ve lost from my life now that she’s no longer physically present. Her energy felt like it was slipping away when it had been so present.
I am so grateful to my friends who have supported me through this – even when I didn’t appreciate how sad I was. It’s so easy for me to block my emotions while they bubble underneath, impacting my mood and decisions without me being aware of it.
Once I’d acknowledged my feelings and begun to express them, I made the conscious decision to be open with our son – now 3.5 years – letting him know I’m sad and why. This is life – we experience death – something he sees in nature all the time as he finds dead butterflies, bees etc.
Ultimately this is a celebration of a fantastic life lived to the full with love and generosity. I will always remember her with a smile and be so grateful that I got to spend so much of my life with her.

Yesterday I said goodbye to a very special lady. She was a beacon of light and joy and I miss her so much.
The past few years have been hard as dementia took hold and her wit and loving words dried up. Yet her beautiful smile always remained.
This was the woman who taught me how to use a typewriter at 5 years old and who I shared many times with along with my parents. I particularly loved the Christmas Victorian evenings when we’d very slowly make our way as she had to say hello to everyone. As a vibrant member of the community, she was much loved and known. We continued to go to that evening for many years.
As soon as I had a car of my own, I would drive to hers for Chinese takeaway meals – initially with her husband and then just the two of us after he died. We had those takeaways for 25 years. Those wonderful evenings discussing the world, her amazing upbringing in India and coming to England as a bride, her family stories – she loved her family so much.
She always had something nice and loving to say – who is going to tell me I look young with amazing skin now? I guess I’ll have to do it now. I can hear her voice and feel her energy and I hope that I can be a little more like her – so giving and joyful as well as deeply confident in herself. I’m not sure I can emulate her amazing wit though.
I feel honoured that I’ve shared 40 years of my life with this amazing woman and that my son got to spend 3 years knowing her. He asked to see her and enjoyed time with her.
I will always miss her and am so deeply grateful to have had her in my life.

Be careful what you wish for! Setting Intentions

I wrote this article two years ago for Starflower Living e magazine.

‘Be careful what you wish for!’

Four years ago I embarked upon yet another ‘spiritual’ course to change my life, thinking that it would be interesting and fun and life would trundle on much the same. How wrong can you be! At the end of the course I set a powerful intention to have a child, fast forward to now and I’m chasing a toddler around all day long!

Let me back up a bit and tell you about myself. I had a rupturing ovarian cyst at 22 years old, I needed emergency surgery and I never really recovered as my abdomen was full of scar tissue – adhesions which don’t stretch so every movement was painful and for the first few years I couldn’t even stand up straight when walking. Over the years I tried many complementary therapies to aid my own healing, having discovered that conventional medicine (drugs) just don’t work on me. Reiki is my greatest love and I was blessed to discover it in 1997 and trained in it for my own healing. Gradually I learnt my own limitations and managed to do just-about everything I wanted. I met my soulmate Steve in 2004 and told him straight away that I couldn’t have children – I’d been told by Drs that I needed to wait a while but it may be possible but I didn’t dare believe it was.

Intention, Belief & Actions
I remember so clearly, Steve pushing me into signing up for the 7 week Feminine Power online/telephone course. So I enrolled and loved the work; there was a lot of self-exploration and introspection and it was very enlightening. The biggest challenge for me was at the end of the course when we had to future vision which is not something I’m particularly good at. Yet I can remember that vision so clearly – Steve and I in a large garden, laughing with our child. It felt incredible but to my mind unobtainable. Yet in the spirit of the course, I began to open up about the vision and ask others to hold the vision with me. It was so painful even admitting to myself that I wanted a child – I was 39 by now and had been told by a GP to give it up as I was suffering excruciating ovulation pain along with the constant adhesion pain. Admitting it to others was a slow process as it meant opening up such vulnerability. The biggest was admitting to my mother that I had that dream and letting her hold it with me. I worked so hard to break down my limiting beliefs which were preventing me even imagining having a child.

Over the next few months Steve and I were open about our desire though it still felt impossible as we’d been ‘not not-trying’ for years. Steve began making me juices every day and I would take female herbal tonics, along with our organic vegetarian diet. I began giving myself much more Reiki, especially my womb and we discussed and imagined how we would raise a child. I wrestled with my ‘perfectionism’ tendencies that led me to believe I needed to be slim and instead, nurtured myself on every level and trusted that if it was possible, I would have a child. I continued my Feminine Power journey by taking the Mastery course and then the Leadership course.

Stepping into the Unknown
I realised that all the healing and cleansing in the world wouldn’t help me because I was so miserable with my day job. So in autumn 2011 I finally left my job and flew to Los Angeles the next day to train as the only Feminine Power Coach from England. Weeks later, I co-led a women’s retreat with a fellow Feminine Power sister at her home in Italy. I relished the beautiful landscapes and sacred space of women. I held my own womb so deeply and finally after 18 years felt ready to go back through my operation energetically and heal that experience.

Non-Attachment
In March 2012, I had a vision/experience where I saw our son as a tall blond young man – and I said I was so sorry that he didn’t come into being but that I couldn’t try any more, I felt so upset each month and felt I couldn’t move on with my life. It was heartbreaking.

Weeks later, I co-led a retreat in Italy again and this time I was ready to engage with my own conception/birth, while being held by my sisters at the end of the retreat. I felt such a powerful bond with my mother and the journey we both travelled. The most transformative moment of the retreat for me was as I held one woman on the earth and felt my whole being channelling Reiki/Earth Love to her – it was a humbling and magical experience. I felt that even if I was never a ‘mother’, I am an Earth Mother and that is more than enough.

One month after the retreat, I missed my period! While unusual I put it down to peri-menopause. By the time I saw a doctor I was 10 weeks pregnant and had done 7 positive tests! I didn’t dare to believe it was possible. So there never was any of those screaming ‘I’m pregnant moments’ but a gradual realisation that maybe it was possible. Telling my mother was so precious and although we have a good relationship, it deepened in that moment. At my first midwife’s appointment, we heard the heartbeat straight away. I can’t describe that moment.

At 41 years old, overweight and with an abdomen full of adhesions, I sailed through the pregnancy. Lots of healthy vegetarian food, swimming 3x a week, daily walks meant I was fitter than I’ve ever been. We refused all medical intervention apart from one scan at 20 weeks when we were told it was a boy – no surprise given my vision and a dream a few nights before of holding a child dressed in blue. Though strangely we’d never considered boy names! I gave up freelance work and spent my days resting with meditation and healing and leisurely walks.

Surrender
Dillon arrived one day before his Great Grandmother’s 89th birthday in January 2013. His labour was a lesson in complete surrender to me as I faced my worst nightmare of medical intervention – from induced labour as his heart rate was elevated, right through to being rushed to theatre for an emergency c-section. I begged the doctors not to cut me as I wouldn’t be able to care for my baby if I put down more adhesions. At the very last moment, after receiving all the drugs, they were able to deliver Dillon with forceps. We were told he’d need to go to a ward for observation but within minutes he recovered and was passed to us for a sleepy cuddle with his father.

Trusting life to unfold
He is a total blessing to us and a challenge as we meet his needs and those of ‘the family’ with love. I am 2 stone lighter than I was before I got pregnant and rarely have any adhesion pain. We have easily slipped into ‘attachment parenting’ with breastfeeding, sling-wearing and co-sleeping – all the while led by Dillon. I am now gently returning more to the world as Dillon gains his independence at 18 months old. I’m a full-time mum and will remain so while gradually starting to do some healing and coaching work. I am also a passionate photographer and have written a Flower Meditation book which will soon be published.

Space

I offer a simple audio meditation called ‘space’ as part of my Wedding Relaxation and Truly Radiant packages and it feels so vital to me at the moment.

Our son is three and for several weeks we’ve noticed him wanting his own ‘space’ in many ways. From refusing to leave his car seat as it has lots of toys and he enjoys playing in there to being very clear on his needs and wants for example ‘no tickles’! Obviously this is an important developmental stage for him and it’s encouraged us to create his own bedroom which is really a playroom but it gives him his own space and us more space downstairs with less toys. Likewise our bedroom with 2 double mattresses now houses our extensive book and crystal collections. It’s far more ‘full’ now we don’t have a ‘spare room’ but it feels like ‘us’ as our things are around us and we’ve all been sleeping better.

Sometimes it feels so hard to have our own space – whether that is physical, emotional or energetic space.

When I felt overwhelmed at work I would often go to the toilets and imagine I was covered in a huge bubble that was my space so that I felt in control and I could balance my energy within my space. I ‘set’ my bubble so that negative energy could not reach me but that love and positivity could shine through (both ways).

I found lunchtime walks in nature were a great way of getting out of the work space and back into ‘me’ space too as well as listening to my favourite music or chatting to a friend.

Another way to create energetic space is to imagine expanding your energy from your body outwards. Try this Expansion meditation.

With love and blessings
Sam x

Being Authentic

Being authentic, being your true self, being transparent… These terms are used so much in coaching but what do they really mean?

It certainly seemed a lot easier to be ‘authentic’ in LA when I was there for my coach’s training five years ago. I turned up with pink streaks in my hair so I already had a certain ‘persona’! I’d just left my ten year job for… nothing …. I was simply Sam, stepping off a cliff with no plans for the future. I wasn’t even sure why I was there…I didn’t think I wanted to be a coach… I just felt called to go to the other side of the world alone and blow a huge chunk of our savings.

It was interesting to witness the cultural differences between the Americans and the Europeans – their enthusiastic Yeses and arm raising versus the European quiet yeses and sitting in seats. I’m generalising of course but I assume that the cultural differences are just that ‘cultural’, learned by our peers and elders to varying degrees.

To me, being authentic is being true to myself and reflecting that in the World. It’s not easy though. There’s a big vulnerability to saying ‘this is me’. In some ways it seems to conflict for me with being an introvert – I want to hide away, I don’t want to be ‘seen’ a lot of the time. I want to witness, to reflect, to listen. Yet certainly in social gatherings that can equate to not being seen at all.

I remember that when I co-lead women’s retreats in Italy, my co-leader Adelheid reflected back to me just how much she valued my quietness, my holding the space energetically while she led the group exercises, my behind the scenes organisation, my gentle healing and reflection to those in need. While I, in turn, so valued her powerful presence, enthusiasm, passion and direction to the group.

So how can we be authentic and still fit into the world?

Be true to yourself. Who are you? Do you know? You may want support to discover yourself or you may instinctively know.

Listen to the deepest part of yourself. Don’t listen to the voices that drag you down – are they even your voice? Breathe deeply and access a deeper, wiser part of yourself. Listen to that part. Act from that part while sending love to the other parts that are less wise.

Be kind to yourself. If there are areas that you’d like to change then do so compassionately, with support be that from a friend, a coach, a healer, a book, a course….

Be grateful for all that you are. Imagine your lineage, all your ancestors who made you who you are – thank them. Yet you are unique and individual.

Celebrate who you are. If you love to sing then sing or join a choir, dance, draw, heal, listen, run, do whatever it is that makes you happy and feel alive. Your joy will shine through.

Listen to others. Access that deepest part of you and listen to others from there. Be totally present to others and hear them. Give others the gift of deep listening and presence. Often it’s not the words others say but how they made us feel that we remember. Leave a space, don’t try to fix everything, just be present with love.

Think about the things that express who you are:
– your body for one – think about how you have your hair, makeup and clothes. Do they express who you are, bearing in mind you are constantly changing! For me this is loose natural soft fibres – I need to feel that against my skin, plain yet vibrant colours to express my mood. Hair and skin that looks ok without much maintenance except moisturising. I’d love to wear bright hippy clothes but somehow it’s ‘not me’ – not yet anyway!
– how you present yourself to the world – is it really you or a persona? If you use a persona then why? Maybe that gives you confidence, makes you feel safe? What other things could you do to give you that while expressing your true self?

Love yourself. Easy to say I know but start by practicing gratitude and kindness to yourself, listen to yourself, monitor the words you say to yourself. Take time to be with yourself, to know who you are. Find one thing you love about yourself and start a list. You’ll be surprised how quickly it grows. Read books on self love. Ask others to share what they love about you (and share what you love about them).

Recognise that nothing is static – the you of today could be very different tomorrow. Be curious and open.

Balance

It’s been such a challenging week for me with highs and lows and lots of doing and being. I want to share, certainly not as an expert, but as someone who struggles, on a daily basis with finding a balance.

Last week, I went swimming for the first time in ages – leaving our son at preschool and driving to the next village to swim. That in itself was a big step for me – he’s been going to preschool for three months and this was the first time I’ve left the village. The next day, he and I went to the local play park and had great fun on the soft play and slides and the tractor ride. After so much activity we slept all afternoon! Then we had a rush family visit to IKEA for some shelving units – literally running in and straight through to the warehouse – the Friday before bank holiday is not the best time to try and shop in Bristol! So the next two days were spent building units and moving furniture around with very little rest time. On Sunday we made the 200 mile round trip to see my grandmother. I love this precious time with her and seeing our son and her together. They are separated by 89 years and are definitely kindred spirits.
Just writing that makes me realise what a hectic, yet ‘so normal’ week it was. Hours later I woke from a deep dream about being in pain, to find I was in severe pain. My ‘old’ abdominal adhesions (scar tissue from surgery) were inflamed and I could barely move. This was such a shock to me – I’ve had three years virtually pain free since having our son. I had 19 years before that with chronic pain, being unable to have ‘a normal life’ and needing to pace myself. Having a child rarely allows me the luxury of pacing, even if we have quiet days I’m still lifting his nearly three stone weight constantly and running around with him or curling around him for cuddles. In fact pretty much all the things I’m not supposed to do with abdominal adhesions!

For the past few days the balance in my life has swung to complete rest – or as much as you can with a child. My husband took him out for a long walk and occupied him, my parents took him to their house for his first long stay with them. I slept, I gave myself Reiki and practiced being calm knowing that it will pass. Each morning, I’ve celebrated the extra mobility, being able to stand straighter, to sit, being less swollen and less tender.

I’ve reminded myself that I had this for many years, that for the first three years I couldn’t even stand up straight. I remember my university lecturer stopping me one day as I held on to the wall so that I could walk to class, and asking why I didn’t defer for a year to heal. That made me so mad! I knew I had the strength to continue, I wanted to complete my degree with my friends. I was very stubborn! Yet while that strength has been my saviour in so many ways, it’s had to be tempered on many occasions from doing to being when I have needed to rest, to ask for and accept support.

My mind has been trying to work out the physical cause of this setback and to ‘blame’ something whilst the healer/coach side looks at the possible deep emotional causes that resulted in this flair-up. I love to analyse and figure things out. Yet in many ways this simply is. Maybe I ‘should’ have remembered the pain years and been more carefully physically, maybe I should have rested more but isn’t wisdom so great after the event? Did I check in with my body over those busy days? Yes I did but maybe not enough! It’s so easy to make ourselves ‘wrong’ – I think that’s a conversation for another day!

Another part of me is deeply grateful for the support I have – both my own support from years of lived experience on how to deal with the pain, to my husband, family and friends who’ve helped with our son, to my Reiki for enabling me to ‘do’ something while remaining physically inactive. I am deeply deeply grateful that I have years of relaxation, healing and pain control techniques. This ‘flawed’ body magnificently managed to get pregnant naturally at 41 and birth our gorgeous son. My body continues to nurture our son and let me chase him around soft play or climb gorges or forests with him and my husband.

Of course in the balance of life, I wish I had more rest, more quality sleep but equally I so treasure those night time cuddles. Every day I see our son grow a little bit more independent and our mother-son balance shifts a little more as he can do more and I have to let go a little bit more. Some days he wants cuddles all day, others he wants to explore on his own. So I soften and surrender to the flow of life, some days being very active, others less so. Life is such a delicate balance and I feel so privileged to be exploring it/experiencing it, pain and all!
Take a moment to think about the balance in your life, does it feel ‘balanced’?
What does balance mean to you?
What would you like more of? Less of?
What actions can you take to create the balance you want?
You may want to draw a circle and use different colours for the different areas of your life to see how it looks visually eg work, play, family, relationships, study, creativity, fun, exercise. Are you happy with this balance? If not, how can reapportion bits? Have fun with colours and redraw the balance in your life, knowing that it is constantly changing. Have fun with it

Pain

I want to talk about pain as its so prominent in my life right now.

22 years ago I collapsed and was rushed to hospital. Days later I had abdominal surgery and I clearly remember coming around from the general anaesthetic and being held down as my whole body shook. In bed, I tried to sit upwards and felt as if my whole body had been sliced in two – well there was an 8 inch cut. I soon realised the morphine wasn’t working and I had 10 blissful pain free minutes after being given Pethidine but my reaction to it was so extreme that I was told I’m allergic to it and never to have it again. So began a long and interesting ‘journey’ to learn how to live with constant pain (both physical and emotional) caused by extensive scar tissue from the operation throughout my abdomen.

I’ve learnt how powerful we are as human beings, how our bodies can create far greater ‘drugs’ than the medical profession can provide. The power of the mind is real and, over time, I learnt to ignore the background hum of pain so that I could live my life. It was only when the pain reached a certain level that I’d consciously register it and then take action or usually non-action to heal as complete rest works best for me.

In the past few years I’ve embraced my body far more and learnt to listen rather than ignore which was my default for many many years. Now I check in with myself – what am I feeling? What do I need? And I listen to the answers. It may be that in that moment I can’t ‘do’ what my body needs but I can soften and be aware of my needs. Sometimes, that awareness is all I need to feel better. This softening to myself also stops blame and shame or making myself ‘wrong’.

I’ve adapted – from rolling to get out of bed or a seat rather than going straight up to having my car seat tilted back so that I’m not in an upright position but more, literally, laid back.

I’ve paced myself – certainly in the first 10 years I had to be very careful not to overdo things – so while working, I rarely went out at night. I certainly didn’t go out two nights running.

I treasure sleep. Sleep is a great healer and I respect that. In some ways having our son and the broken sleep that’s followed for over three years has been worse than anything else. Lack of sleep deprives us of healing and repair time for mind and body. I know I’m a lot slower mentally now.

I like swimming and walking. As the years have passed walking has become a lot easier so that I can now climb gorges or walk in forests for hours with our son on our ‘family Sundays’. Swimming is still more of a challenge. Before surgery, I was swimming 5+ times a week, now I can do far less but I treasure those swims.

I’ve become aware of how I’m standing or walking etc. How often do we pay attention to that? I remember doing a walking exercise on the Thought Pattern Management training course and my partner noticed that while my legs moved, the upper part of my body moved independently. Like I’d been ‘cut in the middle’ were his words. How true! That insight helped me to see myself as whole again and to consciously work with my energy in the top and bottom of my body so that it flows again now. Simple things like imagining a waterfall flowing down through my whole body and out through my feet, imagining that I can clear away any blocks so that there’s a strong flow. Sitting with my hands on my abdomen and imagining love and healing flowing into that part of my body.

Knowing that ‘this too shall pass’ helps me as I breathe into the pain. Being present to the pain, witnessing it and loving it makes it part of me rather than something that is separate to be ignored. For years I tried to ignore the pain and it got worse and I felt that I had nowhere to go and could see no possibility of it ending. Being present allows me to still be in the flow of life, knowing this pain will come and go, while I continue to be me. My pain isn’t me but it’s part of me and as such I send it love rather than making it separate and the enemy.

Gratitude is such a big healer. Instead of focusing on the negatives of pain, I’ve found that expressing gratitude to myself, the injured part of my body, brings me back into flow and possibility.

Be kind. To yourself and others. Being kind like gratitude, softens us, brings us back into flow.

Reiki has helped me so much on all levels. It allows me to ‘heal myself’ – I put my hands on my body or ‘think Reiki’ and it flows. It calms me, it gives me focus amidst the pain. It connects me to an energy that is far bigger than me – Reiki means Universal Life Energy. It brings calmness, peace and connectedness and enables me to ‘do’ something while bring physically still.

Meditation is such a fantastic practice – whether it’s simply stopping for a few moments and consciously breathing, following a guided practice or doing it as part of Reiki or a class for example tai chi or yoga. The more we practice meditation, the more our brain becomes wired for it and the easier it becomes to relax, to become present to ourselves.

Connecting with others – it’s so easy to become disconnected from others when we’re in pain, whether physical or emotional. Yet we need others. Reach out, share, be authentic about who you are and what is happening in your life. Join local or internet groups, seek out like minded people. Find your ‘tribe’. Be yourself.

These are just some of my thoughts and practices around pain. If you would like to know more about the power of our minds and bodies I totally recommend William Bloom’s The Endorphin Effect and all Dr David Hamilton’s books and website. I’ve been lucky enough to train with both of these amazing men and their work has been life changing. Louise Hay’s ‘You can heal your Life’ is a classic.

* This is my experience. Obviously if you have pain, you should always see a Doctor.

Shine

Shine

We are standing on the Earth at a sacred time. We have the call to shine and step into the unknown, knowing we are supported and loved, secure and held as we spread our wings and fly.
This is our time. We are here to be seen, to flourish, to shine. We stand, arms and souls linked as we expand our energy in the vast future. Trusting and loving all that is.
Like the waves upon the shore, we keep moving, forward and back, forward and back. Expanding and contacting, always moving with the flow of life.

 

It’s so easy to become entangled in our lives without the time and space to see who we really are. Our lives are filled with ebb and flow like the sea on the beach but with the pressures of modern living, it can become so easy to focus on the ebb or contracting our energy and making ourselves ‘small’.

Take time today to focus on your expansion. Sit quietly and breathe deeply, imagining your energy extending beyond your body, reaching out to life and others. Imagine you can touch others with your energy and help them to feel your love and shine. Know that you make a difference in the world and choose to shine.

 

 

I am Blessed

I am blessed

I am blessed
I am blessed for the air that I breathe
For my body which moves and sustains me
For being me
I am blessed to walk upon this magnificent earth
To feel the ground beneath my feet
And the wind in my hair
The love in my heart
For my life, my child, my partner, my family, my friends
I am blessed to be present at this time

I wrote this simple poem/thank you note whilst sat in my car last week. Our son started preschool at the end of January and I’ve been going with him twice a week. Last week, I was able to leave him happily playing and have some quiet time in the car park. I am deeply grateful for this – both for time to myself and more so because our son feels loved and secure.

Take a few moments to think about the blessings in your life and feel how that makes you come alive with gratitude, love and appreciation for all that you have.

‘Me Time’

As a full-time mum I’m often asked if I’m having ‘me time’ or I’m advised that I need it. But what is ‘me time’?
Is it a trip to the toilet in peace? A bath? A massage? Time to read, to clean, to tackle things on my ‘to do’ list?
I’m assuming those suggesting it are really extending love towards me and mean how can I recharge my often depleted energy?
With a nearly three year old who believes sleep is in 2 hour blocks with lots of nighttime cuddles, it can be challenging to feel I get anywhere near the sleep I need. Often if he sleeps longer, I feel even worse for having some quality sleep
So I depend upon good home cooked, organic if possible, food and vital supplements, plenty of walks and quiet time for relaxation and healing.
A lot of the time, this ‘me time’ is actually ‘us time’ – quiet moments with my son where we cuddle and sleep (or read), mornings when I wake feeling Reiki flowing so I place my hands on my body and enjoy the warmth and relaxation, energising walks and playing chase or speeding down soft play slides!
Yes sometimes I desperately crave time alone but I’m lucky that my husband enjoys early evenings with our son so I can have quiet time to sew, write, meditate. More often than not, those precious minutes are spent cleaning up though! So for me the challenge is not having ‘me time’ but balancing the ‘to do’ list in my head with my need to rest and recuperate. It’s a work in progress – but seeing it allows me to be open to other choices.
My son is my greatest teacher, I’m learning to soften into my days and our time together, to follow my intuition and the joy in my life.

Community

Take a few moments to look at the flowers while gently calming your mind and body by breathing slowly and deeply.
Let any tension or stress drift away with your breath, knowing that in this present moment you don’t need them.
Imagine you can breathe all the way down to your hips, to your legs and out through the soles of your feet. Like the flower, imagine roots growing from your feet, going deep down into the Earth; our planet, our home who nourishes and nurtures us.
Take a moment to feel that connection.
Like the flower, imagine the sun on your face and body. Feel the warmth and bliss as the sun warms you. Feel yourself straightening to this warmth; your spine gently elongating. Maybe you stretch like a cat luxuriating in the warmth.
In this place of warmth, gradually become aware of the key people in your life, your family, friends, ℅- workers. Imagine them as flowers all around you, also basking in the sunshine. See them as beautiful flowers, individual from you, yet part of the wider community.
Imagine how deep down in the Earth, your roots touch and entwine, each supporting and nourishing the others; while receiving all it needs to thrive and bloom.
Know that you are unique and precious, taking up your space to thrive and shine in the World, while all around you others shine in their uniqueness too. Feel love swell in your heart for yourself and others as you each bring your gifts and talents to the world. Knowing at a very deep level that there is space for each of us to bloom.
Sit in this space for a moment, knowing that you have all the space and time you need to bloom, thrive and flourish.
When you feel ready, take a few deep breaths and become aware of your body. Give thanks to your body for all it does for you. Gently stretch, moving your fingers and toes and become aware of your environment. Make sure to drink plenty of water and gently ease yourself back into your day

Trusting your inner knowing

This week, I’ve had to make a decision regarding our son and have felt very pressured to do so.
I gave this situation so much energy! My mind kept going over and over it trying to be ‘ok’ with it, logic said it would be ok yet my body kept saying ‘it’s off’ but I couldn’t get total clarity.
So I asked for help. I asked ‘the universe/energy’ for support one night. The next day, I received so much support – a phone call from a friend, whose also a coach, in a similar situation, family calls, another coaching call and a Mum’s webinar about trusting our inner knowing, a gentle conversation with my husband exploring our reasons and different options. In that space alternatives arose and time opened up again.
With my own coaching hat on, I could clearly see that I was making myself ‘wrong’ for not following the ‘expected’ society path. As pack animals we tend to follow the norm, but what if it isn’t right for you? It can feel uncomfortable to say ‘no’ and choose a different path. As a healer, I’m used to being ‘different’ but this is bigger because it involves our family of three, not just me.
I could also see clearly that I disagreed with two fundamental elements but also this wasn’t something that had just come up – it’s been ‘off’ for a long while in my body, mind and soul. Yet I’d ignored it because at that point I didn’t have to make a decision and, more importantly, it wasn’t a loud NO.
All the time and energy I’ve wasted! I say that without judgement or regret – it’s been a valuable learning and has helped me to reach my inner knowing and see clearly that all choices/decisions have to be in alignment with our family ‘North Star’ which I finally see and feel clearly. From this deeper knowing in my body, there’s clarity in my mind – other options can be explored now to see if they ‘fit’ with our vision and it’s ok to be open. We don’t have to follow the mainstream path, but maybe it might be right for us. This way, we’re doing this consciously and fully present, not because it’s what everyone does.

The key things this week has taught me are
* be present to your own experience without judging yourself. It’s not bad or wrong, it just is.
* drop into your body and listen. Sometimes the ‘no’ is a whisper not a shout.
* Be gentle, loving and kind to yourself.
* ask for support but not advice.
* take the pressure away – do you really have to make a decision? (sometimes you might). What happens if you don’t? Maybe more options come then?
* listen for other options – they may come up in you or others might presence them
* is this your decision alone? If not, get present to the other person(s) and their feelings and wishes and honour each other as you discuss it. Create a safe space when you discuss the decision with love and respect, both to yourself and the other person.
* having a North Star brings clarity to a situation, it guides you.

Growing our own

I love the summer for all the vibrant and delicious fruits and vegetables on offer. It’s a time to feel a lightness in body, mind and soul and to eat lightly too.
I love food – it nourishes me on all levels. This year, for the first time, I’ve grown food in our garden so that our son can see how it grows and then eat it. My husband is a professional organic gardener, trained in horticulture, permaculture, garden design etc so he’s helped too
Every night our son shouts that it’s time to water the plants and he helps firstly with the potatoes then the lettuce, beetroot and tomatoes. He’s a fussy eater but he’s eaten our lettuce and I’m excited to see him eat the first ripe tomato. He ignored the strawberries growing in the flower border though! Last year he’d take a bite out of an apple from the tree and then throw it in the compost bin! I’m hopeful that apples and plums will be eaten fully this year!
There’s something so wonderful about growing your own food. A few years ago my husband grew French beans, sweetcorn (simply delicious), onions and garlic as well as herbs. It’s probably not cost effect even compared to organic prices but it’s priceless in terms of vital life energy and sheer enjoyment. Picking your own grown food and eating it moments or minutes later – bursting with life energy and rich nutrients. Just perfect
So take a few moments to think about the foods you love and could maybe grow. Whether that’s some herbs on the windowsill ready to brighten a home cooked meal or tomatoes, potatoes, courgettes or fruit trees and bushes in a garden. It’s easy to slip fruit and veg into a traditional flower border or herb, strawberry or cherry tomato hanging baskets.

Why I love Reiki

For me Reiki is Love.
When I’m with a client, I ask the reiki to flow and imagine love flowing from my body. My hands are normally on the person or in their immediate energy field but energy flows from everywhere; they are probably just aware of the heat from my hands.

Reiki has literally transformed my life. Before Reiki, I was suffering from chronic pain following surgery. I could barely stand up straight or walk without holding onto something. Then in 1997, Reiki was everywhere, or so it seemed to me! So I took Reiki 1 so that I could heal myself. Suddenly my hands were hot and I could feel energy. A few months later I did Reiki 2 – the practitioners level. Now I was giving Reiki to family and friends. A whole world opened up to me where I could sense energy in myself, others and around me. The following year I took Seichem which has the additional energies of fire, water and air to Reiki’s grounded earth energy. To family and friends, my healings now felt like ‘cotton wool’!
Taking the Third Master/Teacher level a while later was quite an experience. My Grandfather died just days before the attunement but it felt right to continue and it gave me comfort to be in such a sacred space. It is a true gift to be able to attune others to this energy so that they can heal themselves and others.

The biggest transformation was my own health. The physical pain continued as my abdomen is stuck together with scar tissue (adhesions) but I no longer registered it until it got to a certain level. I began to stand up straight again and walk further distances. I got a job, met my soulmate and got married.

I use Reiki every day. It’s intuitive after so many years. I Reiki my day with positive energy, I give Reiki to my body wherever I need it, I Reiki ahead to situations, I Reiki car journeys, I’ve even Reiki’d batteries and clocks that have stopped working, with great success! I love giving sending Reiki to others too and hearing how they feel better soon after.

I love that Reiki is so accessible and is a gentle, yet powerful support to other therapies. For example, I may do laser coaching on specific issues while doing a Reiki session so that it supports the person as they touch on, often, raw emotions. Diving deep into buried emotions, while surrounded by Reiki gives additional comfort and can feel like having a warm blanket around you. As the person is using the Reiki energy as their energy system needs, I always know it’s going where it’s most needed, in just the right amounts.

When I wonderfully became pregnant after years of trying, I Reiki’d our growing baby in my womb every day and every day since he came out! I had abdominal pain throughout the pregnancy but nowhere near the level of the early days 20+ years ago. Since his birth, the chronic pain has pretty much gone except for the rare occasion, usually when I’ve pushed myself too hard.

It’s only now, at 2.5 years old that I’m aware of our son taking Reiki as a separate individual, before that his energy felt like an extension of my energy. It’s such an honour to be able to pass this on to the next generation and what a wonderful tool for our son to have, knowing that we can heal ourselves and others and always have access to this Love.

Loving your body

I’m starting a new daily practice – taking a few moments to breathe deeply and become conscious of my body. To thank and love my body for all it does and allows me to do.
I deeply appreciate my body – it’s simply amazing. Trillions of cells working together each and every moment.
My body has been through a lot – from surgery to an abdomen full of scar tissue and the resulting chronic pain. It’s got pregnant despite those adhesions and carried our child to term and birthed him. It’s kept going without more than a few hours sleep ever since he was born!
I invite you to focus on your body and all it does for you. To breathe deeply and say ‘thank you’ with love. Hold your body, place your hands on your body and express your appreciation.

Gratitude List

As a coach, I often tell people to write a gratitude list so that they can appreciate all that’s good in their life and therefore transform their energy to a more positive vibration.
So this week I thought it might be a good idea to do one for myself! I’ve done it on my phone so I always have it.
It’s filled with all the wonderful simple things in life – like clearing the spare room, having more creative energy to write, enjoying family time on the beach, enjoying time with friends, making new friends, reading a good book, getting creative with sewing and making new things, having a chat to my 91 year old Gran each day and hearing our son tell her about his day (usually all about the lorries he’s seen!). These things make up my life and they make it so precious.
I’m so grateful for the family time we have and for the time hubby occupies our son so that I can write or sew, meditate or clear things. Equally I treasure all the snuggles with our son as he falls asleep in my arms.
So what are you grateful for? Take a few moments to breathe into the enquiry and then write it down and keep writing. Take a few moments throughout your day to add to the list. Then see how you feel in a few days time. Far better than a ‘to do’ list

Clearing the energy

There’s nothing quite like a ‘spring clean’ for clearing the energy, whether that’s in your physical and/or mental space.
I can feel it when the energy isn’t clear around me – for example I know the spare room needs sorting but try to ignore it! But yesterday our son slept for a long while, so I thought I’d make a start on the dreaded paperwork that hubby has been accumulating! It’s so cathartic to sort and file – or at least it is for me! Clarity comes as bank statements are filed together and junk put in the recycling pile.
Suddenly lots of other things feel clearer too – isn’t that the way, clear one thing and other clarity comes as ‘if by magic’
My mind feels clearer now too – I’m not weighed down by ‘must sort spare room’ so I can think about more enjoyable things! I feel more creative – hence writing lots more and I have more physical energy too.
So if there’s one thing (or pick one from your list) that’s calling to you but you feel ‘ugghh’, give yourself the gift of time to make a start on it. Shift that negative, heavy energy and see if you feel so much better and have more energy for the things you love.

Finding joy in the simplest things

Last weekend we took our 2.5 year old to the beach. It’s a beautiful stretch of sand and sand dunes with one tea shop and one ice cream shop.
We packed a picnic and blanket and we were all set. He ran straight into the large ‘puddles’ left by the sea that was a long way out. He screamed with joy and threw himself down repeatedly into the muddy water
Later snuggled in a towel on his Dad’s lap he ate a picnic and watched people walk by and butterflies flittering from plants on the sand dunes.
Moments later the sky became black and we watched the rain on the horizon before packing up and getting to the car just as the storm broke. He loved watching the rain on the windscreen.
To him, this was the perfect day. Yet we’d spent no money – not even an icecream! We’d just had food from home and he’d run and got soaked in mud!
I remember so many similar days from my childhood – beautifully simple days where we played in nature and it was perfect.
I love the simplicity and beauty of nature and to see that beauty and magic through his eyes. It reminds me to stop and really appreciate the world, our home and to see its beauty in the millions of different facets.
Wishing you a truly beautiful day x

Expansion

Take a few moments to simply breathe and look at the picture. Breathe this delicate pink into your body with each breath, feeling it like a gentle warmth filling your body with each breath. Imagine every cell in your body filling with this pink and being infused with love and healing. With each breath you become more and more relaxed. Let go of any tension in your body by breathing pink light into it and feeling yourself becoming more and more relaxed.

Now imagine your whole body is filled with pink light and with each out breath you expand your energy beyond your physical body. Gently feel this expansion, like the deeper pink of the Rose, your energy expands further and further. Imagine this energy expanding from your whole body to fill the whole space around you. Now expand it further and further, feeling yourself connected to your whole environment, connected above and below as well as sideways and front and back. Feel yourself as Love. Enjoy this space.
Bring your attention to your heart and focus this love there, imagining the deep pink in your heart and feel it expand, for yourself and others. You may wish to place a hand on your heart.
Take all the time you need in this space of deep love, connection and expansion.
Only when you feel ready, bring your attention back to your body, gently moving your hands and feet. Give thanks to your body, mind and soul. Gently re-enter your day.

Grounding

Take a few moments to simply breathe and look at the picture. Breathe in the peacefulness of the scene. Feel the gentle warmth of the sun coming through the trees and the coolness of the dappled shade.
Breathe deeply and feel this peacefulness going into your body with each breath. Feel the light and shade in each breath. Breathe as if you can breath right down through your legs, feeling your feet on the ground. Now imagine roots growing out of your feet, going deep down into the earth. With each breath, they go deeper and deeper, as if they can grow right to the centre of the earth. Feel yourself connected to Mother Earth, our planet, our home, our mother who nurtures and nourishes us. Feel the love from Mother Earth coming up through your roots and into your body, filling your body with love.
And now see your roots, so deep in the earth, touching other roots – connecting to others in a beautiful matrix. Feel that connection to Mother Earth and people, plants and animals. Knowing that you are unique and individual, yet deeply connected to life on this beautiful planet.
Take a few moments to feel this.
When you feel ready, take a few deep breaths and gently return your attention to your body, moving your fingers and toes. Know that you are always grounded and connected to life and can return to this space easily.

Protection and Grounding

I’ve been told so many times over the past 20 years that I need to protect myself. But what does that mean? There’s so many different ways to ‘protect yourself’.
It’s only in the past 4-5 years that I finally feel I’ve got it right for me. It’s a delicate balance, certainly with protection – what do you let in or out of your energy field? Do you use talismans, crystals, colours, conscious imagination/visualisation? I’ve done them all over the years.
For me the turning point came when I started Feminine Power courses and I learnt to ground and centre myself and expanded my energy – I’d been doing them separately before but not all together at the same time. Yet they dance beautifully together – energy expanding in all directions – deep down into the body first, then into the earth and then out to everywhere else. For me this feels whole, safe and fluid.
Firstly centering deep into my body gives me a sense of coming home, being in touch with the deepest part of myself. For me, this is simply breathing into my body and imagining my breath going all the way to my hips and really feeling it there. So each breath comes and goes from my hips.
Next, I imagine my breath going down into my legs and feet, taking a moment to feel the sensation and the heaviness and tingling in my feet as my breath/awareness reaches there. Then I imagine roots growing from my feet, going deep deep down into the earth and connecting to the Earth.
Next, with each breath, I push my energy outwards from my hips and body in all directions, feeling it expand. I like to feel it fill my immediate space, then the room or building and beyond. To connect to Life, I expand it much further so that it incorporates the town, country, Earth, Sky etc being aware of this expansion in every direction – above, below and to the sides. Then I am expanded to include everything and be part of everything.
Likewise my roots deep in the earth can touch other’s roots so that we are connected and in harmony.
From this deep space, I feel connected, protected and have a deep inner knowing awareness.
Like with all things, this becomes much easier and quicker with practice.

You might like to try the Grounding and Expansion meditations that accompany this blog 😉

Surrender

For the past two + days I’ve been looking after our poorly toddler.

It’s been a big lesson in surrender to me. It certainly hasn’t been hard – he’s been so poorly with a stomach bug, I’ve just lay cuddling and soothing him. All the things on my ‘to do’ list have been forgotten as I’ve comforted my sick child. Ironically after 2 days and nights of this, I feel quite rested – I’ve been totally in the present moment, focusing on him.
But I’ve also needed to be present to my needs too – I’ve needed drinks, food and the loo. I’ve had to leave him for a minute or two to see to my needs. After all how can I nurse him through this, if I’m not well?
Presencing my needs is a challenge for me, I’d rather care for others but being a mother is teaching me how to be present to my needs too as otherwise I feel I could easily disappear myself and become ill.
I make a choice – our son is sick, I cuddle and sooth him for hours before I get myself a drink or go to the loo but I do go! I tell him that I’m going to get a drink and will be back. I’m building our relationship so that he’s aware that I do things for me but I come back. When I come back I’m more present as I’ve met my needs.
Likewise, as I sooth him with ‘you’re ok, I’m here’ – these are my internal soothing words too when I need to be soothed and calmed. It’s so easy to have negative self talk, but kind caring self talk makes a big difference. Treating ourselves with kindness gives us the inner calm to then give to others with love.
It’s been an honour and blessing to care for our sick child, to meet his needs and my own. To share a very still and quiet couple of days – to rest in the present and enjoy our beautiful connection.

Flower Meditation: Unfolding

Sitting in a comfortable position with your back supported, look at the picture and take a few deep breaths.

Become aware of your breath as it enters your body and travels down into your chest. Imagine you can breath all the way down into your hips and feel yourself becoming more and more relaxed.
Notice if you have any tension in your body – if so, breathe into it and let it go with each out breath.
Imagine that with every breath, you are breathing in Unlimited Potential. As you look at the flower see how it’s petals are ready to unfold in the sunshine – to reach its full potential. Breathe in this fearless energy to unfold and feel your own energy expand. Imagine you can expand just like the flower, unfolding each petal one by one and shining in the sunlight.
Feel your energy expanding as you unfold into your power, into your true self.
Stay in this space for as long as you want.
When you feel ready, again notice your breath and become aware of your body, your fingers and toes.
Give thanks to your body for all that it does.
Take a few moments to sit quietly before continuing your day.

Flower Meditation: Appreciation

Sitting in a comfortable position with your back supported, look at the picture and take a few deep breaths.
Become aware of your breath as it enters your body and travels down into your chest. Imagine you can breath all the way down into your hips and feel yourself becoming more and more relaxed.
Notice if you have any tension in your body – if so, breathe into it and let it go with each out breath.
Take a moment to appreciate the beautiful delicateness of the Rose; the softness of it’s petals and colour.
Imagine breathing that gentleness and appreciation into your body. With each in-breath feel appreciation going into every cell in your body, filling each one with this beautiful pink-tinted yellow.
From the top of your head to the soles of your feet, feel it spread throughout your whole being; like a warm blanket on a cold day. Feel yourself snuggled in appreciation and love; like a warm smile to your body, mind and soul.
When you feel ready, again notice your breath and become aware of your body, your fingers and toes.
Give thanks to your body for all that it does.
Take a few moments to sit quietly before continuing your day.

Flower Meditation: Cycle of Life

Sitting in a comfortable position with your back supported, look at the picture and take a few deep breaths.
Become aware of your breath as it enters your body and travels down into your chest. Imagine you can breathe all the way down into your hips and feel yourself becoming more and more relaxed.
Feel yourself drawn to the centre of the flower. Like a heartbeat, feel the energy of the flower pulsating with each in and out breath.
Release tension and stress on each out-breath, feeling it leave your body and feel peace in the space between your breaths.
Inhale vitality into each cell in your body with each in-breath.
Take time to just be in this space of inhaling, peace and releasing – the cycle of life.
When you feel ready, again notice your breath and become aware of your body, your fingers and toes.
Give thanks to your body for all that it does.
Take a few moments to sit quietly before continuing your day.