Here’s a blog I wrote last month for Pocket Guru
This morning my four year old son said to me ‘you’ve got a big bum’ and I immediately told him that’s not something we say. But I wonder what would have happened if I’d said ‘yes isn’t it gorgeous?’ And danced with him – ok maybe not we were in public toilets at the time!
But he’s four. He’s stating fact not judgement.
And I’m curious how I can make my responses be fun and empowering for both of us. I don’t want him to grow up ashamed of his amazing body and I don’t want him to judge others either. I want him to see the beauty and variety of life.
I wouldn’t say I’m body confident: I’d love to be slimmer, to easily find clothes that fit and I feel beautiful in. But I don’t name and shame myself. The last time I did that I was on my coaches training in LA in 2011 and I hit the belief ‘I’m a burden’ and it hurt. Along with that was ‘I’m ugly’. I was lucky enough to have lots of coaches to support me through that, plus my own deeper knowing that it simply wasn’t true.
My life was in deep transition at that point – I was 40 years old, I’d been in chronic pain since my early 20s, I’d just quit my 10 year job (with no clear work plan) and flown from England to LA for the coaches training (blowing a huge chunk of our life savings). I was only at the beginning of a major life shift. That pain began a deep healing process that culminated in my beautiful damaged body getting pregnant just months later despite years of pain and infertility.
So now when I look in the mirror, I see my life: scars from surgery, wrinkles from life, my body which nurtures my child, provides a safe space for him and others. Every day, without fail, my body gets up and moves. And that truly is a blessing.
*I invite you to choose to look at your beliefs and self-judgements about yourself in a new way. How can you make it fun and vibrant?
*Take a few moments to appreciate your body’s life story. What have you overcome in your life?
*Really celebrate the wonder of you. Trillions of cells working in harmony together every moment to keep you alive.
*Look in the mirror at yourself. Name three things you can love or like about yourself e.g. How life shines from your eyes, your skin, hair, your smile, hips, belly, feet etc!
*Ask others what they love about you.
*Invite in joy and positivity (from yourself and others)
*Notice how your body feels and moves when you’re in that joy.
*If there’s a part of you that you really don’t love, how would it be to extend loving kindness, to touch that part and thank it for being part of you?
*Use this wonderful invitation by Pocket Guru to really celebrate every part of yourself.