Today I want to talk more about Stepping out of Pain and into Power.
The dictionary definition of pain as a verb is ‘cause mental or physical pain to’ . To that I’d include emotional and spiritual pain. I want to stress just how ‘painful’ pain is so I’ve created an acronym to highlight different sections of my lived experience of it. Of course everyone is different and this is just one option but it might be fun to play with different definitions to create your own PAIN. By having a different perspective you are choosing to see it clearly and to stand in a different place in relation to your pain. What opens up then?
My (current) definition of PAIN:
Powerless – that feeling of having no control, being powerless in the face of …. physical, mental, emotional or spiritual pain. Of feeling trapped, that there’s no way out, no hope, no future. Just more of the same.
Alone – no one else can understand your experience. They can have empathy and compassion but they are not you living this experience. It’s completely isolating. There’s a sense of disconnect from everything – loved ones, yourself and life too. It’s very hard to even find hope that things could be different.
Invisible – no one sees the real you – the ‘you’ that’s free to do whatever you want, without constraint. The you that longs to move, to dance, to be joyful and radiant. Or you may feel that you need to be invisible to survive – that it’s ‘best’ if others don’t see you, that you have nothing to offer etc. You may be invisible to your own feelings and needs. It’s so painful to be here.
Not – loved, enough, wanted, important. Just say those to yourself – do any resonate? How do they make you feel?
No matter what your pain, you are probably hurting on many levels. Studies show that physical pain impacts our emotions and increases anxiety and social isolation which will impact our emotional state.
My own experience of physical pain was that I ‘shut down’ my feelings as a safety mechanism to survive. At the time, I felt I needed to conserve all my energy to just exist. Going to university or work was all I could handle. Relationships were strained as I felt no one understood what it was like to be in constant pain and the sheer energy it took to move and function every single day. I didn’t plan ahead, I simply existed. And I disconnected from my body too – choosing to ignore the pain (as much as possible) which in turn isolated me even from myself and my joy. In those years, I was my pain.
There’s so much to pain and it will be unique to each individual but wherever you are with pain, it’s rarely a powerful place to be standing.
So what if we choose to stand in a different place? What happens if we choose and, are supported, to claim and stand in our power? What if we choose to not be our pain?
There’s so many elements and practices we can ‘do and be’ to be in our power. Here’s some simple ideas and practices to support you to claim your power, your way:
Possibility – what’s really possible in your life? What makes you feel that spark of life? What lights you up and makes you excited? If nothing could stop you, what do you most desire for your life? Think big!
Obstacles – what’s really in your way? Are they real tangible obstacles? How can you work with them? Such as skills needed for a new job, resources needed? A clear healthy food or supplement plan? Support through an emotional or physical trauma? Learning pain management skills?
Or are there hidden thoughts and feelings which are blocking you? Breathe into what’s stopping you and…
Witness – be curious and without judgement as you get clear on what’s actually present in your life. Are there false beliefs which are stopping you? Maybe you feel you’re not good enough or you’re too much? That you’re alone and trapped in your isolation and pain, that you’re invisible or powerless? These beliefs feel so real it’s hard to even witness them as false beliefs as they can be so insidious and pervasive in our life.
Energise – make a start – where you do feel energy? tap into it, use it to revitalise yourself. Where do you feel passion, desire, the energy flow in your life? Start there! If you can’t sense any energy in your life go back to possibility and play – imagine the life you could create if you had unlimited energy, support and resources … imagine you’re a small child with no sense of ‘impossible’ ….
Radiance – step into your power – use the energised feeling and expand it. Breathe into it and imagine expanding that energy throughout your whole body. Imagine walking through your day feeling this power and energy. You feel lit up from within, curious about others and the possibilities of your life. Shine and be Radiant. Even if you only feel one tiny spark – expand it a hundredfold and just imagine how it would feel to be fully Radiant in your life. And keep on expanding. Feel the joy and aliveness that comes with being yourself fully. If you can imagine it you can be it.
Is this easy? Yes! It will probably take lots of conscious practice, like strengthening a muscle – the more you do it, the more it becomes a habit and the stronger it gets. You may need support be that from family and friends or a coach etc.
Thomas Edison famously said: Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration
I’d like to add that the ‘journey’ or perspiration can be fun though! Take the time to connect to yourself and your inspiration before you start the journey so that you are clear where you are going.
As you claim your power, who will you be and what can you achieve in your precious life?
If this calls to you or you are simply curious about my ‘work’ please get in touch. I’m delighted to offer free 45 minute discovery sessions to connect to yourself, identify your pain and have clarity on how coaching can support you to achieve your wellness, radiance and joy.