Monthly Archives: October 2015

‘Me Time’

As a full-time mum I’m often asked if I’m having ‘me time’ or I’m advised that I need it. But what is ‘me time’?
Is it a trip to the toilet in peace? A bath? A massage? Time to read, to clean, to tackle things on my ‘to do’ list?
I’m assuming those suggesting it are really extending love towards me and mean how can I recharge my often depleted energy?
With a nearly three year old who believes sleep is in 2 hour blocks with lots of nighttime cuddles, it can be challenging to feel I get anywhere near the sleep I need. Often if he sleeps longer, I feel even worse for having some quality sleep
So I depend upon good home cooked, organic if possible, food and vital supplements, plenty of walks and quiet time for relaxation and healing.
A lot of the time, this ‘me time’ is actually ‘us time’ – quiet moments with my son where we cuddle and sleep (or read), mornings when I wake feeling Reiki flowing so I place my hands on my body and enjoy the warmth and relaxation, energising walks and playing chase or speeding down soft play slides!
Yes sometimes I desperately crave time alone but I’m lucky that my husband enjoys early evenings with our son so I can have quiet time to sew, write, meditate. More often than not, those precious minutes are spent cleaning up though! So for me the challenge is not having ‘me time’ but balancing the ‘to do’ list in my head with my need to rest and recuperate. It’s a work in progress – but seeing it allows me to be open to other choices.
My son is my greatest teacher, I’m learning to soften into my days and our time together, to follow my intuition and the joy in my life.

Community

Take a few moments to look at the flowers while gently calming your mind and body by breathing slowly and deeply.
Let any tension or stress drift away with your breath, knowing that in this present moment you don’t need them.
Imagine you can breathe all the way down to your hips, to your legs and out through the soles of your feet. Like the flower, imagine roots growing from your feet, going deep down into the Earth; our planet, our home who nourishes and nurtures us.
Take a moment to feel that connection.
Like the flower, imagine the sun on your face and body. Feel the warmth and bliss as the sun warms you. Feel yourself straightening to this warmth; your spine gently elongating. Maybe you stretch like a cat luxuriating in the warmth.
In this place of warmth, gradually become aware of the key people in your life, your family, friends, ℅- workers. Imagine them as flowers all around you, also basking in the sunshine. See them as beautiful flowers, individual from you, yet part of the wider community.
Imagine how deep down in the Earth, your roots touch and entwine, each supporting and nourishing the others; while receiving all it needs to thrive and bloom.
Know that you are unique and precious, taking up your space to thrive and shine in the World, while all around you others shine in their uniqueness too. Feel love swell in your heart for yourself and others as you each bring your gifts and talents to the world. Knowing at a very deep level that there is space for each of us to bloom.
Sit in this space for a moment, knowing that you have all the space and time you need to bloom, thrive and flourish.
When you feel ready, take a few deep breaths and become aware of your body. Give thanks to your body for all it does for you. Gently stretch, moving your fingers and toes and become aware of your environment. Make sure to drink plenty of water and gently ease yourself back into your day

Trusting your inner knowing

This week, I’ve had to make a decision regarding our son and have felt very pressured to do so.
I gave this situation so much energy! My mind kept going over and over it trying to be ‘ok’ with it, logic said it would be ok yet my body kept saying ‘it’s off’ but I couldn’t get total clarity.
So I asked for help. I asked ‘the universe/energy’ for support one night. The next day, I received so much support – a phone call from a friend, whose also a coach, in a similar situation, family calls, another coaching call and a Mum’s webinar about trusting our inner knowing, a gentle conversation with my husband exploring our reasons and different options. In that space alternatives arose and time opened up again.
With my own coaching hat on, I could clearly see that I was making myself ‘wrong’ for not following the ‘expected’ society path. As pack animals we tend to follow the norm, but what if it isn’t right for you? It can feel uncomfortable to say ‘no’ and choose a different path. As a healer, I’m used to being ‘different’ but this is bigger because it involves our family of three, not just me.
I could also see clearly that I disagreed with two fundamental elements but also this wasn’t something that had just come up – it’s been ‘off’ for a long while in my body, mind and soul. Yet I’d ignored it because at that point I didn’t have to make a decision and, more importantly, it wasn’t a loud NO.
All the time and energy I’ve wasted! I say that without judgement or regret – it’s been a valuable learning and has helped me to reach my inner knowing and see clearly that all choices/decisions have to be in alignment with our family ‘North Star’ which I finally see and feel clearly. From this deeper knowing in my body, there’s clarity in my mind – other options can be explored now to see if they ‘fit’ with our vision and it’s ok to be open. We don’t have to follow the mainstream path, but maybe it might be right for us. This way, we’re doing this consciously and fully present, not because it’s what everyone does.

The key things this week has taught me are
* be present to your own experience without judging yourself. It’s not bad or wrong, it just is.
* drop into your body and listen. Sometimes the ‘no’ is a whisper not a shout.
* Be gentle, loving and kind to yourself.
* ask for support but not advice.
* take the pressure away – do you really have to make a decision? (sometimes you might). What happens if you don’t? Maybe more options come then?
* listen for other options – they may come up in you or others might presence them
* is this your decision alone? If not, get present to the other person(s) and their feelings and wishes and honour each other as you discuss it. Create a safe space when you discuss the decision with love and respect, both to yourself and the other person.
* having a North Star brings clarity to a situation, it guides you.